


(S)He Said To Me (Forget What You Saw)

by wayvbabey



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: F/M, nct au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayvbabey/pseuds/wayvbabey
Summary: You have come to this prestigious school for one thing: to give yourself a better chance at your education. Except… it’s kind of difficult when you’re there as a boy and your roommate busts you on your first day.
Relationships: Suh Youngho | Johnny/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 100





	1. 1

Everything was foreign to you.

From the tall buildings that stood clumped together that were so unlike the ones you were used to back home, to the way you walked, trying to imitate a certain sense of masculinity that you didn’t have. Your jeans sat low on your hips as you’d forgotten to wear a belt and your sweater was a size too large, dwarfing your frame but drawing attention away from your chest. It had been one thing to shop in the men’s clothing section for the first time, but now, when you were dressed up like some pre-pubescent 13-year old, you were entirely out of your comfort zone. 

Around you, students bustled like bees in a beehive, all seemingly content and comfortable with their surroundings. You caught glimpses of designer bags and expensive watches as they passed which only served to remind you where you were: not just anyone could get into this institute. But instead of making you feel accomplished, it served to remind you as to how alone you felt in this place. But you had to suck it up, you were here for a reason and you weren’t going to back out now.

In your hands was a detailed map that made no sense to you. Your morning had been spent at an orientation lecture where you had dropped off your luggage and signed up to collect what you would need, including a little guide of where your accommodation was. You’d spent the past fifteen minutes trying to figure out where to go and although you would now admit to yourself that you were lost, there was no way you had enough confidence to approach someone and ask for help. What if they saw right through you?

However, you were running out of options. A quick search of who was around had your attention drawn to a young man with white hair and a black undercut. Though his face was intimidating he wasn’t sporting any obnoxious fashion brands, which made you feel more obliged to go up to him. Call it prejudice, but you had an inkling some rich kids didn’t enjoy public school students mingling on their campus, especially ones that had gotten in on a scholarship.

“Excuse me,” you made sure to lower your voice and carefully check the man’s facial expressions as he looked up from his phone and took you in. It seemed you had passed your first test. “Do you know where the Han Accommodation Block is?”

“Are you a first-year?” He grins, face softening and putting you at ease while looking you up and down. “That’s where my room is too. What’s your name? I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you,” you reply gratefully. “I’m Kim Daehyun, a first-year.”

“Nakamoto Yuta,” he starts to walk and you hurry to keep up with his long strides, pleased the person you had chosen was helping you and that he hadn’t commented on your name, which had been chosen on a whim. 

“Are you a first-year too?” You ask, to which he laughs in a way that lit up his face and made you grin in return. “Judging by your reaction I’m gonna say that’s a no? You don’t look like one if that helps.”

“I’m a second year, but you were close. What are you majoring in?”

“I’m on a scholarship,” you admit, “the art programme.”

“Art? Damn,” he whistles, “you must be good, they don’t take just anyone. I’m here for soccer but my father has me doing some of the social science classes just so he can brag about it to his friends.”

“Right,” you nod, pretending to understand the difficulties of over-proud parents, “actually, I think I’ve chosen a social science class too. Maybe I’ll see you there?”

“I’ll save you a seat,” he winks and you have to stop yourself from blushing. You’re not here as a girl and you can not find him cute. “By the way, we’re here.”

“Huh?” You look around and find yourself outside a beautiful white building decorated with plants outside the front. It looks more like a hotel than a student housing building and you’re taken aback at how close it was to where you had been wandering around. Then again, geography had never been your strong suit. “Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it. Are you gonna be alright checking in?” He asks and you nod. 

“I think I’ve got it from here. Thanks, Yuta.”

“No worries, see you around.” And with that he’s gone, giving you a half-hearted wave and heading inside. You look up at the building for a few more moments before following him in.

The lobby inside again reminds you of a hotel, with a queue of students at the front desk waiting to receive their room key. You join them while fishing out all the documents you’ll need to give the lady at the desk. It was at times like this you wished you had your parents to rely on. If you’d told them your plan (and they had agreed to it) they would have helped you sort out your documents, but instead, you’d had to create them all on your own.

“Name?” She asks you once you arrive.

“Kim Daehyun,” you reply, watching nervously as she finds your name.

“Kim Daehyun… Ah, there you are. Oh, Mr Kim,” she looks up at you apologetically. You hadn’t been caught out already, had you?

“Unfortunately, there has been a change of plans with your rooming. I know you requested for private accommodation but we’ve had another student suddenly come back for their second year, so they will be rooming with you. I’m so sorry about that, but here’s your key.”

You let out a sigh of relief, reaching to take it from her. “That’s fine, thank you.”

“My pleasure. You’re on the second floor and your luggage should be on your bed.”

After her clear dismissal, you head to the stairs, wanting to avoid the small group that has gathered to wait for the elevator. It’s a short climb but you find yourself lost in thought as you go. Sure, you hadn’t originally wanted a roommate, but you could make this work. The lady had said it was a second-year, what if it was Yuta? You wouldn’t mind that, he seemed nice enough. You just hoped they wouldn’t be too nosy. 

You slide the key into the lock and turn the knob, hoping your roommate was late like you had been. Perhaps then you would have been able to prepare yourself a bit more. Unfortunately, as you step into the room you see a figure on the bed.

The first thing you notice is that he’s extremely long, or rather- tall. He’s stretched out on his bed with his luggage still on the floor, eyes moving from his phone to you as you enter the room. 

“Hi,” you try not to let your voice get too high with nerves as his eyes look you up and down. “I’m Kim Daehyun, your roommate, I guess.”

“Nice to meet you,” he goes straight back to his phone, not even bothering to give you his name. The awkwardness hangs in the room like a suffocating fog, so you move to your bed on the right in a bid to start unpacking.

The room is better than you expected; right next to the door on the left there’s a small kitchen with a place to eat and the bathroom after that. Opposite is a space to store clothes, then your bed is on the right while your roommate’s one is on the left. By the end of your beds, there are two desks for studying. It’s not what you were expecting but you were more than happy with it.

“So,” the silence grows too much to bear as you open your suitcase and take out your clothes, “what’s your name?”

“Johnny Suh.” He doesn’t look up from his phone.

“What year are you in?”

“Second.”

“What are you majoring in?”

“Business.”

Just as you accept defeat and go back to unpacking in silence, he asks a question. 

“What about you?”

“Me? I’m a first-year, here with the scholarship programme.” Why did you have to keep mentioning that? He was going to think you were some loser.

“Oh, you must be quite smart then.”

How were you supposed to respond to that? It reminded you in high school when the popular girls would ask their unsuspecting victims questions like that to try and trip them up. “Um, I don’t know. I just got on the course.”

You lapse back into silence, although a final question remained on the tip of your tongue. You had expected to be rooming alone, as you’d requested in order to protect your identity, so why did you now have a roommate? The receptionist had mentioned he had suddenly come bac.k so did that mean he hadn’t originally been intending to start his second year

,

You let the thoughts die in your head, moving on to your toiletries.

-

The next day you get up bright and early, practically launching yourself at your alarm so you don’t wake up Johnny, though the older boy didn’t seem like he was getting up anytime soon. That was a good thing, you supposed, as you could spend a while in the bathroom sorting yourself out, taking a shower and making sure your binder was in place.

Your first class was Social Science 101. Though you were here to study art you had the options of choosing two extra classes, so you’d filled them in with Social Science 101 and Advanced Literature. You liked learning about people and also believed art and writing were closely intertwined, so they seemed like the best possible choices for you.

The lecture hall was bustling with students hurrying to take their seats and gives you a sense of deja vu from yesterday. You slowly climb up the stairs to try and find a seat when a flash of black and white catches your attention. It’s Yuta, waving at you.

You send him a grateful smile and make your way over to him as you notice a black-haired boy sitting next to him.

“Did you find your room okay?” Yuta asks you. 

“Yeah, thanks to you,” is your reply as you smile at him. Yuta then turns to the black-haired boy next to him who’s looking at you with interest.

“This is Kim Jungwoo, my roommate. Jungwoo, this is Daehyun.”

“I’m a first-year,” you wave to him which causes Yuta to laugh.

“Daehyun, stop saying that. We all know you’re a first-year ‘cause you’re so small!”

You try not to blush with embarrassment. It’s not your fault girls don’t grow as tall as guys, or that you’re not well-versed in talking to them. You try to change the subject.

“So how are you guys both here if you’re older than me? Are classes not sorted by age?”

Jungwoo shakes his head. “Nope. They’re based on who takes what rather than age, which means they can teach a whole variety of courses at once.”

“That’s so cool,” you reply before the professor enters and the conversation dies out. 

It’s a fairly basic lecture, brushing up on the material you had been asked to review before the term began and introducing some new topics that had you frantically trying to take notes. In fact, you’re so caught up with writing things down you hardly notice the time fly by and the lecturer eventually dismissing you. It’s only when the other students begin to pack away that you realise it’s time to go. As you pack up Jungwoo speaks.

“If you don’t mind me saying, Daehyun, you’re quite feminine for a guy.”

You hope they don’t see you tense up while you put away your books, hurriedly trying to think up something to say.

“Jungwoo,” Yuta chides him, but you interrupt.

“I mean, look,” he suddenly comes closer, pushing past Yuta and gently grabbing your chin and tilting it up. “He hasn’t got any stubble or anything!”

You panic and hastily push his hands away. He was far too close to your non-existent Adam’s apple for your liking. “I actually have three older sisters, so sorry if I come across like that.” You reply and Jungwoo has the decency to look embarrassed, pouting.

“Sorry,” he apologises.

“Don’t worry about it, I get it all the time.” You glance at the clock on the wall at the front. “I have to go now, but I’ll see you guys later?”

“Sure,” they wave you off as you grab your stuff and head out, still trying to calm yourself down from your close call.

It’s quite a walk to the main building where your next lecture is being held but you manage to make it on time. It’s probably the most excited you’re going to be for a class considering it’s the scholarship orientation talk, where you’ll be receiving a welcome talk and an overview of how the scholarship would work. As far as you knew there were only 60 people who had been accepted onto the programme, half boys and half girls.

Though you’d joined a scholarship programme you were uncertain as to how many of these people actually needed the scholarship. It was quite obvious, you had noticed, which students came from money and which didn’t. Hell, you’d even noticed Johnny in some branded sweatpants last night, and you were sure these kids were going to be no different. Opening the door and walking in, your assumption was proven right.

There were eyes all over you as you realise you’re the last one to arrive, quietly making your way to a seat and settling in. It doesn’t help when a group of boys start sniggering at you, hiding their laughs behind expensive bracelets and flashy watches.

The introduction is brief, welcoming you all and congratulating you on being accepted. They invite you up to the front to collect your syllabus and projects and then let you go for an early lunch. You were hoping to make some friends with people who were on your course, but that seemed unlikely to happen, so you just head for the door.

You’re halfway into the hallway when you trip over something, or someone. Laughing fills your ears as you hit the floor, backpack uncomfortably thwacking against your back with your arms stinging as you try to break your fall.

Disbelief and rage course through you all at once as you try to comprehend why someone would do such a thing. You get up quickly and try to push down the embarrassment, whirling around to see a slender girl with back hair and cat-like eyes blinking innocently at you, though the smile on her face tells another story.

“Did you just trip me?” You scoff at her, while a few 'oohs’ emerge from the little group surrounding her, mainly built up of the boys who were laughing at you earlier, you notice.

Her eyes narrow as she goes to reply but she never gets to opening her mouth. Instead, her eyes widen and she backpedals, opting to stare behind you rather than reply. Confused, you whirl around. Had a professor witnessed the whole exchange?

To your surprise, it’s Johnny she’s looking at, who’s standing in the hallway glaring at your whole exchange. One by one, you notice the group who were tormenting you slowly disband, evaporating into the crowd with not so much as a glance behind them. Once he realises they’re gone he carries on walking and you’re left to stare after him in wonder. Why had they disappeared all of a sudden?

“Let’s go, Youngmi,” a taller boy grabs the girl gently by the wrist and leads her away. 

“Why is he still here? My brother told me he’d dropped out,” you hear her mutter, more to herself than you but that doesn’t stop her from sending one last glare your way, and then she’s gone, leaving you staring blankly at the spot where she’d been and wondered what the hell just happened.

-

It was safe to say you no longer felt welcome which resulted in you retreating to the library for lunch, eating while you scroll on your phone absent-mindedly.

Your day had gone worse than planned but you were determined not to let it dampen your mood. Hopefully, you wouldn’t have to interact with those people again and you would have to remember to thank Johnny for coming to your aid, even though it seemed unintentional.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

Your heart drops as you look up and see a boy with back hair and glasses gazing you down at you nervously. Is he trying to flirt with you? Because that's exactly what happens in the movies after they say that line, and if he’s said that then it means he’s-

“I just need to get some studying done and the other areas are too noisy for me.”

Oh. “Of course,” you gesture to the seat opposite you before looking back down at your phone in embarrassment. What was wrong with you?

“Thank you,” he nods and takes a seat, getting out his books and immersing himself immediately. “My name’s Doyoung, by the way.”

“I’m Daehyun,” you reply, offering him a quick smile before the two of you lapse into silence. From the quick glances you steal at him you can tell he’s dedicated to studying from the way his nose scrunches up as he tries to memorise things. You quickly chastise yourself, taking a bite of your sandwich and chewing fiercely because you should not be admiring any boys while you’re here. Or girls, for that matter.

“So why are you eating alone in the library?” A few minutes later he brings you out of your daydreams with one simple question. You blank for a moment, trying to figure out what to say, which he takes as you being insulted.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” He pushes his book away and looks flustered, “I didn’t mean to come off as rude!”

“It’s fine,” you giggle, hastily turning it into a cough as his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I’m just not used to this place yet,”

“I see,” he relaxes, “it can be a bit intimidating here.”

“You can say that again,” you joke. “So, what are you studying?”

“I’ve got an upcoming test to see how much we remember from last year. I didn’t start revising until yesterday.”

You pull a face. “That’s not good, I’m glad I don’t have to do one of those.”

“What are you taking?”

“Art.”

“That’s so cool,” he grins, “what dorm are you in?”

“The Han building. I’m a first-year.” Apparently, that was the key information everyone looked for around here.

“So am I,” his grin widens. “Who are you with?”

“My roommate? Johnny Suh.”

His face suddenly changes and the smile is replaced with a look of confusion. 

“Do you know him?” You pry.

“Yeah, we have Literature together. But I thought he dropped out last year. I mean, he didn’t have much of a choice, he bombed the exams”

“That’s what the receptionist told me yesterday,” you shrug, “but he’s back. Studying business, right?" 

"Huh,” Doyoung looks thoughtful, but before he can reply the bell rings and you reluctantly pack your books away. It would have been nice to learn more about your roommate but for now, you settle with exchanging numbers with Doyoung in case you ever- in his words -'need someone to eat lunch with’.

The rest of the day passes by uneventfully since you only had one more lecture to go to. It was in the Art Building where you had received your art assignments and met the rest of your class. They’d seemed nice enough and no-one had suspected anything.

Upon arriving back at your dorm there was no sign of Johnny so you allowed yourself to relax, flopping onto your bed and grabbing your phone so you could text your mother. You’d promised to keep her updated.

Mom:

Y/N, how is it going?

It broke your heart that you couldn’t tell your mother about the predicament that you were in, but she would never understand. So you were keeping her in the dark, pretending you’d gotten in as yourself rather than as Kim Daehyun.

Y/N:

Really good! Everyone here is so nice and I’m making friends :)

It was only a half-lie but you still felt guilty, throwing your phone back onto your bed with a sigh in order to try and throw away the sin you felt. When that didn’t work you flip open your textbook and began studying, hoping to get ahead in your Social Science 101.

You had lost track of the time when Johnny came back, flinging the door open and striding in like he owned the place. He was so inherently masculine that you almost flinched back, not used to such cockiness. You could only manage a small 'hey’ to which he grunted back, going straight to his bed and pulling out his phone like you had. Judging from what he was wearing he had been playing some kind of sport.

His arrival reminds you of how he had helped you out earlier in the day.

“Thank you for helping me out this morning.” You say timidly, eyes focused on your notes. You don’t know why you’re so afraid to face him but something about the way he’d glanced at you before, as if he couldn’t care less about you, seemed to set you on edge.

Your assumption is right as you hear him scoff, getting up.

“I didn’t do it for you,” is his reply, before you turn around just in time to see him grab some clothes and head to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. A few moments later you hear the shower start running and you release a breath.

Was he this cold to everyone? Or just you? There was no way to know or find out but you hope it’s the former. You already seemed to be in the bad books of some of the students here, the last thing you needed was to be hated by your roommate too.

If you were going to get along this year, shouldn’t you at least do something to break the ice? Your eyes wander to the kitchen and a thought pops into your head. What if you made dinner? Food was always good to cut the tension.

So you get up and start cooking with whatever you can find. You’d brought a small amount of food with you but luckily the dorm came pre-packed with food, compliments of the institute. It still amazed you how casually they could give you the food.

You settle on pasta and a premade sauce. It wasn’t brilliant but it was a start, and who didn’t like pasta?

Making it was fairly easy: you put the pasta in some water and left it to boil before working on the sauce, heating it and stirring. Eventually, all that was left was for you to do was strain the pasta which was timed perfectly as you heard the bathroom door open.

“Hey, did you want some-” you turn to talk to him and immediately choke on your words.

Johnny’s looking at you, confused whilst standing in nothing but some sweatpants, a towel in his hand as he prepares to dry his hair. Your mind is screaming at your eyes to look away from his torso but you can’t seem to tear your gaze away. So it does the next best thing: tips the water that you were going to use for the pasta onto you.

“Shit.” Surprisingly it’s not you that swears. Johnny hurries over to where you’re still paralysed in place. “Are you okay? Was that hot water?”

Suddenly he’s all in your personal space, chest far too close to your face as he rubs the fabric of your shirt, trying to absorb the stain. You dart away from him and out of the kitchen area.

“Honestly I’m fine,” you laugh nervously, backing up and trying to find the door handle to the bathroom. “I just need to… clean up.”

You then dive into the bathroom and slam the door on his confused face before turning to stare at yourself in the mirror, a disgusted look in your eyes as you glare at your blushing cheeks.

How many times did you have to remind yourself? If you wanted to fit in here, you couldn’t be staring at boys like you were some lovesick teenager. 

You turn your attention to your wet shirt and belatedly realise you haven’t brought a spare one in with you. A sigh leaves your lips as you shrug the shirt over your head and bring it over to the hairdryer hanging on the wall. You hadn’t brought your own with you because you were unsure if guys used them to dry their hair, but luckily the bathroom had one built-in. You were so preoccupied with drying the shirt that you didn’t realise the door was opening.

“Hey Daehyun I didn’t know you’d-”

It’s like a scene out of a comic book, you shrieking at a volume too high to be that of a male’s and holding your wet shirt to your chest to protect your binder, while Johnny’s eyes go wide, first in shock, then confusion.

“It’s not what it looks like!” You stammer, watching as something clicks inside his head. To your horror, he steps forward calmly, turning around and closing the door behind him.

You inch back a few steps when he faces you again with an unfamiliar smirk on his face that grows when his eyes flicker down to your binder, then back to your face, as if he’s seeing you for the first time. You’re momentarily distracted by how handsome he looks when he’s not frowning, focusing far too much on his grin to realise you can’t step back any further because you’ve hit the wall. You’re trapped.

“So, Daehyun,” he begins nonchalantly, still smirking, “what’s a girl like you doing here?”


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am running on about 6 hours sleep (which for me is pretty bad) so if there’s any typos please let me know (though @retroateez and @bumblebeenct have been superstars in helping me poofread). i’m going to try and update this twice a week, so for now enjoy chapter 2!

Horrified, you stare back at Johnny, mind falling blank when you try to come up with an excuse or a reasonable explanation. The only thing you can think of doing is striking a hand to his chest and pushing him back in order to get some space between the two of you. He yields to your palm, moving back to block the door.

“I’m a boy,” you tell him in a firm voice, taking the opportunity to shove your shirt back on. Wet or not, it gave you some form of security.

He just nods, eyes never leaving yours as he watches you scramble for words.

“I… had… a surgery. Before I was here.” You say with uncertainty, trying to piece together a story.

“Oh really?” He looks thoughtful, lips pouting mockingly. “What surgery?”

“Uhh…” You trail off and cringe at the way his grin grows at having caught you in your lie, eyes alight with humour. “It’s none of your business.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll leave you be. For now.” He laughs, tossing a clean shirt to you (which you only just catch) before turning and exiting the bathroom. You stand there motionless for a moment before lunging at the door and locking it frantically, only pausing to breathe when you know you’re definitely alone.

Was it over? Was this the end of the line? You had known Johnny for barely 24 hours, not nearly long enough to know if he would tell someone or not. But you couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he would keep your secret.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, for once hating how you look so feminine. Even though your hair was cut to a masculine length you still looked like a girl. Had it really been that easy for Johnny to work it out?

Your reflection stared back at you with hard eyes. This had only happened because he was your roommate. If he hadn’t seen the binder he would never have known, so you just needed to give a reason for why you had a binder on.

And you had. You’d said you’d had surgery. For… fluid on the lungs? Was that a thing?

Even if it hadn’t been before, it was now. You couldn’t spend too long in the bathroom or else it would look suspicious, so with a half-concocted alibi, you braced yourself and undid the lock, opening the door and preparing to face the music.

You half-expect Johnny to be standing in the middle of the room waiting for you like some mafia boss, but you find him leaning against the counter, eating. Asr he hears you exit the bathroom, his eyes find yours and a small smile appears on his face that he quickly hides with a forkful of pasta.

You decide to play his game, awkwardly making your way to go and get yourself a bowl too. It’s difficult; he makes no move to get out of the way as you try to reach the cooker and so you have to awkwardly squeeze past him, the heat radiating from his body lighting a fire under your cheeks and causing a blush to bubble to the surface. It’s only when you are turned away from him, serving yourself a plate, that you feel comfortable enough to talk.

“I was in a car accident.” You decide to go straight into it. Johnny will be less suspicious if you start with something serious, right?

“Oh? Go on, then." 

Is he still mocking you?

You brush it off, pushing past him forcefully (though you suspect that it hurts you more than him) and making your way to your bed, sitting cross-legged and beginning to eat.

"I had some problems with some fluid entering my lungs.”

“Fluid on the lungs, right.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Okay, sorry. Continue.”

“So I needed surgery,” you press on unsurely, “which means I need to keep this binder on for six- six to eight weeks. ”

He doesn’t say anything after that, only giving a hum so you know he’s heard you and all you can do is eat in silence. A small part of you knows you can’t keep this up forever, but you’ll be damned if you let your scholarship slip away so easily.

The sound of running water draws your gaze back to Johnny and you see him washing his bowl in the sink. Yesterday you would have been pleased to know your roommate knew how to tidy up but now it fills you with anxiety. If all else fails just turn on the waterworks, a little voice in the back of your head whispers. Boys don’t know what to do when girls cry.

“So,” Johnny starts to dry his plate, turning around to look at you again, eyes unreadable. “You wouldn’t mind me going down to the dorm service desk, right now, and telling them my suspicions, that there’s a girl who’s snuck onto the boy scholarship?”

You try not to tense up. Surely he’s bluffing?

“Nope,” you keep your voice light and airy, setting aside your bowl and reaching for your phone with faux casualness. “Do what you like. It’s your problem if you don’t believe me.”

You keep Johnny in the corner of your eyes as you scroll through your newsfeed, watching the wheels turn in his head. Eventually, he seems to nod to himself, putting his plate down and heading towards the door.

Your stomach sinks as you watch him, already envisioning what will happen next. He’ll go down to the receptionist and tell them his suspicions, they’ll investigate you and the best possible scenario is that you’ll be kicked out. 

“Wait!”

As the door swings open you fly off your bed, phone laying forgotten as you race towards him. He has one foot out the door when you haul him back and dive in front of him, slamming the door shut before spreading your arms out and blocking his access to the outside world.

It’s only when you find him grinning victoriously down at you that you realise you’ve fallen into his trap. You drop your head, defeated.

“I’ll explain,” you mumble, out of breath from the sudden movement. Johnny raises his hands to surrender and strolls back to his bed, sitting up against the wall and gesturing for you to do the same on your bed. 

“How do I know you’re not just going to get up and run down to go tell on me?” You retaliate snidely, folding your arms and staying where you are, voice going back to its normal feminine pitch.

“Come on,” Johnny rolls his eyes, “I don’t actually care what you’re doing here or who you pretend to be, I’m just curious as to why I’ve got a girl rooming with me.”

Satisfied at his response you go back to your bed, sitting down and facing him. 

“Basically,” you begin, “my parents didn’t have enough money to send me to college, so I was applying left and right to try and get an art scholarship- which is hard, by the way.

"I applied here- as a girl -because they had a really good course. I worked so hard on my portfolio and devoted all my time to the application process. So much time, in fact, that when they told me the female applicant spots were all filled up I had missed my chance to go to any other colleges. I reapplied as a boy on a whim, not expecting to get in, but once I did I realised it was either pretend to be a boy or just stay at home and get a low-paying job somewhere.”

Johnny seems nonchalant as you finish your story, exhaling a sigh as he stares up at the ceiling and you have to stop yourself from staring at his exposed neck. 

“You should have just paid your way in. That’s what most of the scholarship kids do because it makes them look smarter.”

You scoff incredulously. “Did you just decide to not listen to me when I said my family didn’t have the money.”

“Oops,” he returns to stare at you, eyebrow raised in a way that shows you he doesn’t care. 

“So,” you fidget nervously, “are we good? You’re not going to tell anyone?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’. “Like I said, I don’t care. The only thing I want from you is to keep making dinner. I can’t be bothered to get takeout every night. Oh- and what’s your name? It’s not really Daehyun, is it?” He pulls a face and it draws a smile out of you.

“I’m Y/N,” you reply. 

“Well, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.”

-

“You look tired.”

You throw Yuta a scorning look as you slide into your seat and sigh as you get your things out, confirming his thoughts.

“My bed was a bit uncomfy,” you lie straight through your teeth. In reality, you had felt awkward sleeping when you realised Johnny knew you were a girl, though he had obviously had no qualms about it given how he fell asleep within seconds of getting into bed.

Jungwoo ruffles your hair affectionately, finding your puffy morning face adorable. “You can always come to our room if you can’t sleep,” he suggests, “we can find space!”

“Thanks,” you’re so tired you don’t even register what he’s said for a moment. When you do, however, you scurry to backtrack. “I’m good for now but I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Maybe we should get you a coffee,” Yuta pokes at your cheek worriedly and you snort, swatting his hand away.

Why did someone like Johnny have to find out about your secret? Why couldn’t it be Jungwoo or Yuta? You’re a lot more comfortable around them and you had a feeling they wouldn’t ask you to do stupid things like make dinner for them. Plus, they were nicer.

After that lecture, you make your way to your Advanced Literature class, the last one before you were free to paint for the day. You’ve woken up a little bit thanks to Jungwoo and Yuta’s antics, but the droning of your lecturer hadn’t helped in the slightest so you take your time walking.

Because of that, the auditorium is already half full when you enter, making you pause and scan around for an empty seat. While you do someone bumps into you gently and causes you to almost stumble forward. Normally you wouldn’t bother confronting them, but whoever this person is they haven’t moved from behind you, their chest practically touching your shoulder.

It comes as a surprise to see Johnny when you turn around, bag casually slung over his shoulder as he grins down at you in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. All you can do is glare at him which causes him to smirk before nudging you again. Now that you think about it, Doyoung did mention he had Literature with him yesterday.

Thinking he wants you to move out the way, you start to climb up the stairs and hunt for a seat. Eventually, you come to find an empty row towards the back but as you go to sit down you find Johnny hasn’t stopped following you. He’s still right behind you and looking quite unbothered with the confused glance you send him.

You take the second seat in and he takes the one on the end, throwing his bag on the floor and stretching himself out in the seat, slouching down. You gawk at his obvious manspreading.

“What the hell are you doing?” You hiss at him.

He rakes a hand through his hair, head lolling down and around until he’s looking up at you through his eyelids. “I’m looking out for my peers. Can’t have you chatting up any girls and giving them false hope or getting too close to the guys, now can I?" 

You can’t even formulate a response, mouth open but no words coming out. Is he seriously calling you a pervert?

Instead of replying you decide to ignore him, facing the front and catching sight of Doyoung hurrying through the door. After a few seconds of frantic waving, he catches your eye and lights up, waving back before grabbing the arm of a boy behind him and dragging him up to where you are. You hear Johnny scoff from next to you but choose to ignore it. At least you won’t be alone with him now.

"Morning, Daehyun!” Doyoung grins as you flatten yourselves against the chair and let him and his friend squeeze by to come and sit next to you. “And you, Johnny. I didn’t think you’d be back.”

“Unfortunately I am,” he sighs in reply, though your attention is quickly drawn to Doyoung’s friend.

He’s extraordinarily attractive and you didn’t have to be innately a woman to appreciate that. He was dressed casually in shorts, a hoodie and a beanie, but somehow they put your sweater and jeans to shame.

“This is Taeyong,” Doyoung introduces the two of you and the shorter boy waves shyly, clearly a little anxious. It was endearing and you couldn’t help but wave back.

“I’m Daehyun.”

“I know,” he smiles. “Doyoung was talking about you eating alone yester-”

He didn’t get much further as Doyoung elbows him in the stomach, a fake smile on his face that has you trying to stifle a giggle. A harsh pain suddenly erupts in your foot and you look down in horror to find Johnny crushing it with his own.

Instead of apologising, the tall boy throws an arm around your chair and makes himself even more comfortable which in turn causes you to lean forward and throw him a nasty look. Taeyong giggles nervously.

Normally your lectures pass pretty quickly but with Johnny breathing down your throat (even though he just sat there in boredom, you noticed) it dragged out painfully. Finally, when the bell rang, you packed up with the others and made your way to lunch.

“Daehyun, Taeyong and I are going back to the library to cram,” Doyoung tells you.

“Can I tag along?” You pipe up, still unsure of where to go for lunch and also not wanting to be left alone with Johnny.

“Of course!”

Johnny then coughs loudly which causes you to turn to him thinking he also wanted to join the three of you. However, you see him subtly shake his head, obviously wanting you to go with him instead. In return you narrow your eyes and mimic the gesture because the last thing you want to do is spend lunch with him given how obnoxiously he’s acted.

He stares at you, hard, but you refuse to back down. Then he turns to Doyoung and Taeyong, who have started to walk down the hallway to the library.

“Hey, guys? Did you know that Daehyun is actually a-”

“Sorry I have to go!” You realise what he’s about to say and quickly latch onto his arm, dragging him away while you leave the others watching you, confused.

As soon as you’re out of sight Johnny takes the lead, brushing past you and leaving you stumbling to catch up.

“Thanks for blackmailing me,” you grind out, still bitter about having to leave your friends.

“I’m just trying to keep them safe, and besides, you need to explore more than just the library, Y/N.”

“Shut up!”

The cafeteria isn’t what you expected. It was fairly normal, with students sitting and eating at the tables while a small queue signalled where the food was being served. Johnny leads the two of you over while you look for the menu, jaw-dropping when you find it.

How can one dish be so expensive? You have to remind yourself where you are for it to make sense. Your scholarship had provided you with a card that would let you buy food from the canteen but you’d been hesitant to use it, not liking the idea of spending someone else’s money when you were fine with making up your lunch with what you could find in the fridge.

Johnny seems unbothered, grabbing a tray and throwing whatever he likes onto it. You push down your envy and stick to your cheap snacks.

“Will that be on your account, Mr Suh?” The man at the till asks and you watch Johnny nod shortly before moving away. It’s almost embarrassing how you fumble with the card the scholarship has given you and touch it to the machine to pay, but you feign confidence, finishing up and hurrying after Johnny.

He takes you to an empty table and as you sit down you wonder if he has any friends at all. Does Doyoung count? If so, then why wouldn’t he want to spend lunch with him? Surely he must know some people from his first year?

Though Johnny seems happy to eat alone, you look around to see if Yuta or Jungwoo were in the canteen to put you out of your misery. 

Unfortunately, your eyes meet with the girl from yesterday, Youngmi? She glares at you in a way that is so open and hostile that you can’t help but avert your gaze. What is her problem with you?

You hastily turn back around when you hear the sound of another tray being slammed down.

It’s a boy you don’t recognise, sporting black hair and a dimple-filled smile as he greets Johnny. What surprises you is the way Johnny smiles back at him happily, evidently pleased to see him.

“This is Daehyun,” Johnny gestures to you as an introduction and you give the new boy a small wave. He returns it.

“I’m Yoonoh.”

“Nice to meet you,” so maybe Johnny did have a friend.

“You know,” Yoonoh places his chin in his hand and glances you up and down, “I expected you to be bigger.”

You look to Johnny in alarm who offers no support, instead seeming like he’s stifling a laugh.

“I get that a lot,” you laugh it off in order to hide your nerves, relaxing when Yoonoh’s attention drifts off you and he and Johnny begin to talk.

-

Your afternoon is spent with your earbuds in and paintbrush on canvas. The first project you had been given was to create a piece of your choice to be displayed in an art exhibition held by the school later on in the year.

You had gone with a nature theme that had quickly morphed into a nautical piece, bringing you to where you were now, finishing the outline of a Great White travelling alone in the deep ocean.

Your aim was to make it look misleading, the cold blue colours and darkness of the sea would, to a casual onlooker, give off the impression that the shark was lonely, yearning to swim to shallow waters where the other animals were.

Yet, in your eyes, the shark wasn’t lonely in the slightest. They were isolated creatures by nature, perfectly content to travel alone for most of their lives. Your piece wasn’t about longing, it was about acceptance and something you were all too proud to be painting.

You pause for a moment as Johnny comes to mind, a smile working its way onto your lips as you liken him to the shark. From what you know he doesn’t have many friends yet seems perfectly content to breeze through his course alone. Similar to you in a way, wanting to only get through this with your head down.

Thinking of him reminds you that you have agreed to cook dinner for the both of you. A glance at your phone tells you it’s nearly seven and your mouth drops open as you realise you’ve been in here all afternoon.

The summer breeze is a welcome wake up call as you slowly walk back to your dorm. The only students out are ones who are dressed down and probably ready to go off-campus and into the city. You envy them; there’s nothing more you would want to do than go and party the night away for once, but with your current predicament, there’s no chance of that happening.

You’re so out of it you don’t notice a group of students passing uncomfortably close to you until one of them clips your shoulders with such a force you’re sent tumbling to the floor, only just managing to avoid getting a faceful of cement.

At first, you think it’s an accident, but their laughter tells you otherwise. Upon closer inspection you see it’s the group of boys who had tripped you up on your first day and all you can do is watch angrily as they wander off, still laughing and congratulating each other for pushing you.

“Do you need a hand?” A hand is stuck in your face and attached to it is a cute boy with concern written all over his face, though you’re far too annoyed to be concerned about looks. You take his hand and are promptly hauled to your feet with such strength (that you don’t know how he possesses) that you go crashing into his chest.

“I’m so sorry!” You apologise frantically, taking in his shocked face. “I must’ve been a bit disorientated from falling over.”

“It’s… fine. Don’t worry about it,” he mutters. “Those guys can be dicks but don’t take them too seriously; they think they’re better than everyone else just 'cause they spend daddy’s money.”

That causes you to laugh and the boy looks pleased to have gotten your mind off of your fall. 

“I’m Donghyuck,” he sticks out his hand and introduces himself. “First-year.”

“Daehyun, first-year too. Nice to finally meet one,” you grin at him and shake his hand.

“Tell me about it,” he pushes his hair back and smiles. “You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Me? Yeah, I’ll be fine,” you reassure him, “though I kinda need to go, my roommate’s waiting for me.”

“Get home safe then,” he gives another small smile, beginning to walk away. “See you around!”

“You too!” You call after him before setting off back to the dorm, subsequently missing the curious look Donghyuck throws back at you.


	3. 3

When you return to your dorm, you find Johnny sprawled out on his bed engrossed in his laptop. It's not an uncommon sight so you brush past him, ditching your bag on your bed and uttering out a greeting (which he ignores) before going over to the kitchen to begin making dinner.

"Are you wearing a wig?" He eventually speaks.

"What?" The question is so out of the blue you can't quite comprehend it the first time.

"I said," he repeats, "are you wearing a wig?"

You realise he's referring to your hair. "No."

"So you actually cut it off?" He replies incredulously and you can hear him shifting on the bed. "Seriously?"

"Well I wasn't going to risk a wig falling off, was I?" You snap, a little irritated by his questioning. Cutting your hair had been the hardest part for you, as you had been quite attached to your long locks.

"You must've been desperate to get in."

"I wasn't  _ desperate _ ," you bite back, "I was just willing to do what it takes to get to where I wanted to be. Sorry I don't have my future planned out like  _ some  _ people."

You wait for his response but all you get is the sound of him tapping on his keyboard so you return to dinner preparation. In a small act of rebellion, you leave his food on the counter and take yours to your desk, debating whether to put some headphones in while you study to drown out Johnny's obnoxiously loud typing.

You've decided to get a headstart on your reading materials for this semester, so you dive straight into studying. It's hard to concentrate when Johnny walks by (you grow more aware of him by the day) with a plate in hand but it was better than him being on his laptop.

"Are you eating and revising at the same time?"

"What does it look like?" You grumble, still irked from his earlier comment. You're determined to get on with studying and so block him out, though that proves hard as his hand suddenly darts into your line of vision and plucks your book away from you.

"What are you doing?" You whirl around angrily to find Johnny holding your book and peering at it with interest. When you lunge to get it back, he lifts it high into the air with an amused grin on his face, clearly enjoying your struggle. 

"There's more to life than just studying," he strolls back over to his bed, book in hand. You make no move to follow him, your pride holding you hostage by your desk. "I'll give it back once you finish eating."

Surprise fills you at his last comment and you can't help but oblige, sitting back down and beginning to eat whilst trying to hide the small blush growing on your cheeks.

-

"Have you heard about the sporting showcase?" Yuta asks you as he sits down, Jungwoo right behind him.

"No, what's that?" You ask, opening your notes and finding where you left off.

"I'm surprised you don't know," Jungwoo replies, unpacking his bag to get ready for the lecture. "It's an event the school holds at the start of the year where we all get mixed and matched to play different sports against each other."

"It's supposed to 'promote bonding', but all we do is try and beat the other team," Yuta replies. "Kind of a waste of time, but it's fun."

"Sounds interesting," you mumble, pretending to be occupied with your books. In reality, there is no way you'll be participating; you opted out of doing any sports for a reason.

"What sounds interesting?" A new voice pipes up which, when you lift your head, you find belongs to Donghyuck, the boy you had met yesterday after he helped you when you'd fallen.

"I didn't know you had this class." You look at him, confused.

"Yeah, I take social sciences on the side," he shrugs, before waving to your friends. "Hey guys, can I sit?"

"How do you know them?"

"We have a mutual friend called Mark." Jungwoo fills you in, making room for Donghyuck to sit. "How do  _ you _ know him?"

Donghyuck opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "We just bumped into each other."

He frowns but thankfully doesn't interfere and the lecture continues along. However, once you're out of the hall he catches up to you, tugging on your sleeve to get your attention.

"Why didn't you tell the guys how we really met?" He pouts, falling into step with you.

"I don't want them feeling sorry for me," you shrug. The last thing you need is for the boys to be watching your back all the time. If you couldn't handle yourself, then how were you going to survive here? It was better if you were able to take care of yourself. "Anyway, what have you got now?"

He grimaces. "Dance. Mark and I- he's my partner -have to prepare for an upcoming showcase, so that's taking up most of my time."

"I didn't know you danced," your eyes go wide as he smiles sheepishly. "That's so cool!"

"Thanks," oddly, he becomes shy, ears reddening under your praise. "Maybe I'll show you our practices sometime."

"Please do," you grin at the thought, having absolutely no co-ordination yourself.

-

At lunch you manage to escape Johnny's grasp, claiming you need to catch up on the studying you missed last night and hurrying off to the library where Taeyong and Doyoung were deep in conversation alongside a boy with bright red hair.

"Hello," you address him, "I'm Daehyun. Um-"

"Moon Taeil. Please don't ask." He looks at you tiredly while Taeyong snickers.

"He lost a bet."

"I'm just here to help these idiots with their test, but nice to meet you." He gives you a small smile before you take your seat.

"So," you strike up a conversation when they finally put their flashcards and books away. "How do you guys feel about the sporting event that's happening?"

"Well I suck at it," Doyoung states matter-of-factly, "but last year I got caught trying to sneak out, so Mr Han is making me hand out water bottles for most of it so he can keep an eye on me."

"You can't opt-out?" You ask worriedly.

"Nope," Taeil shrugs. "But if you don't wanna play, you can just be a defender or something. Unless Johnny's playing. In that case, you're better off giving yourself an injury."

"I had to go up against him in basketball last year," Taeyong adds in sadly, "and I don't think my ankles have fully recovered."

"Did you want to try and skip?" Doyoung cuts in, but you can't bring yourself to say yes. If you do, it'll just raise questions, so you shake your head.

"I'm looking forward to it." 

"We'll take care of you," Taeyong nods seriously, though it turns out to be oddly cute. You have to stop yourself from laughing at the eye-roll Taeil sends him. 

"Oh yeah? You'll look after him like you looked after me and that dodgeball?"

"That was an  _ accident _ ," Taeyong argues back, offended.

-

The sporting event stays on your mind even as you make your way to the art rooms. You were going to have to find a way out of it, but how could you do so without arousing suspicion?

"Watch where you're going." You barely have time to dodge out the way when Youngmi, the girl who had tripped you on the first day, stalks past you and sends an evil look your way, brown eyes narrowing in contempt. You stand there for a few moments watching her walk away, trying to figure out what you've done to offend her. Nothing comes to mind so you let it be, continuing on your way. You don't have time to dwell on her.

Just like before, you lose yourself in your painting, but this time you've remembered to set a three-hour timer, not wanting to spend too much time on your art. If you carried on slaving away over it then you would soon burn out, although you always felt a burst of pride whenever you gazed upon your piece. It was shaping up to be your best work yet. 

It comes as a surprise to you to see Johnny waiting outside your art room when you finally finish for the day. The students around him give him a wide berth but he doesn't seem to care, scrolling on his phone while he leans against the wall. 

He's dressed casually, dark jeans with a white shirt and a denim jacket (although his shoes are  _ definitely _ designer), while his head is bent, hair casting a shadow over his face and obscuring his eyes. For some reason, he looks different from when you first met, softer around the edges. You chalk it down to you knowing how annoying he can be.

Realising you most likely look like some sort of stalker, you make your way over to him to find out why he's there.

"What are you doing here?"

He looks up, eyes finding yours as he pockets his phone before pushing off the wall and coming to stand before you.

"I was just passing by," he replies casually, although you can't help but think he isn't telling the whole truth. Nevertheless, you don't press him.

"Next time you should just wait inside instead of staying out here," you begin to walk and he follows by your side. "But if you're waiting for me to make dinner, I need to go off-campus and get some ingredients, so you should head home by yourself."

"It's cute you think I was waiting for you," he grins openly at you and in return you scoff, shoving him a little. "But can't you just get food from the canteen? They serve meals for the kids who can't be bothered to cook."

"You're forgetting I'm a poor girl who is more than happy to cook for herself," you roll your eyes and turn to look at him, but pause when you see how he's staring at you.

He's smiling broadly, gazing down in silent amusement in such a way that your hands come up to tuck some hair behind your ear, only to hang there awkwardly when you realise you don't have any strands long enough to do that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You look down, avoiding his gaze.

"That's the first time you've referred to yourself as a girl." You hear him snort before his hand comes up to ruffle your hair. "And don't think I didn't see the way you tried to shove your hair behind your ears. That was cute."

"Shut up," you try to elbow him but he dodges, laughing as he jogs in front of you while you struggle to catch up.

Sadly the joking atmosphere doesn't last, with Johnny moaning about how long it takes to get to the supermarket. Clearly, he'd never been grocery shopping before.

"How the hell are we going to get the bags back to the dorm?" He whines as you go to grab a cart. "I know I'm the real man out of both of us, but even I can't carry them all the way back if they're gonna be heavy."

"Stop complaining!  _ You're _ the one that followed me here." You shove the cart at him and grin in morbid satisfaction as it hits him in the stomach before marching off.

You hadn't brought a list of items you needed with you, instead preferring to pick up whatever you thought was handy. Johnny trailed along behind you, sulking as you threw different foods into the cart. 

The next thing you were looking for was some canned soup which you could see only on the topmost shelf. You extended onto the toes of your feet, fingertips grazing the can while you bit your lip in concentration.

A presence comes up from behind, towering over you while an arm reaches over your own and picks up your desired item. It's slightly strange how you've got used to Johnny's body by now, given all the times he's come near you or you've had to squeeze past him, but you can only freeze as he presses the can into your hand, hearing him gently scoff in your ear.

"I don't know why you bother," he moves away back to the cart, "you should've just asked me to get it for you."

"You clearly had no qualms about getting it yourself," you snap back, hating how your cheeks glow a soft red as you put the can away before hastily turning away to go further down the aisle.

Johnny gently pushes the cart into your side, catching your attention.

"Get in," he stares at you intently, eyes falling to your cheeks.

"I'm not five, Johnny."

"Get in or I'll lift you in," he threatens. "If you should know one thing about us boys, it's that we have very fragile egos, so get in before everyone sees."

You gape at him for a minute before he pretends to move towards you. Then, you're gracefully hopping into the cart while he steadies it, sitting at the back where it's most stable while Johnny begins to push. 

"You are the most horrible person I've ever met," you sulk at him, trying not to catch the eye of other shoppers.

"Keep telling yourself that," he hums, strolling along. "Now, what do we need next?"

It's a little embarrassing how easily you and Johnny fall into shopping roles. You'll point to an item and he'll race along, skidding to a stop to reach for the item before passing it to you to hold. When you come to the cash register, you hop out, going to the end to start packing the bags. It's only after the last item is put away that you realise Johnny has his card out and is paying for everything.

"Why'd you pay for it?" You ask him once he finishes. He shrugs.

"Didn't want you to whine over parting with some of your precious scholarship money. You'd probably have a heart attack or something. Now go and put the trolley away."

He walks off, easily picking up the bags and leaving you grinning at his back, trying to ignore the butterflies that hover in your stomach.

-

Your evening is spent finishing up your studies. You were planning on getting through a few of your literature books to finish but the minute you opened them your eyes started to droop, leaving you with no choice but to call it a night.

Johnny glances at you as you collect your pyjamas. "Do you wear one of those binder things?"

"I have to, yeah," you rummage around for a pair of shorts.

"Do you sleep with it on?"

"Yep." Eventually, you pull them out from where they had fallen under your bed, completely ignoring how Johnny has fallen silent.

"You don't have to sleep with it on if it hurts," he eventually speaks again, just as you're about to open the bathroom door. When you look at him, he's back on his laptop, refusing to meet your gaze.

"You... haven't been reading up on wearing them, have you?" You question him. How else would he know? You'd read up on wearing binders before you'd arrived and the internet had said that sleeping with them on wasn't recommended, although you hadn't wanted to risk it once you'd realised you would have a roommate.

"It's only natural for me to do so when my roommate is trying to trick everyone into thinking she's a guy," he scoffs, shifting down further so his face is blocked by the laptop screen. "Do what you want, I don't care."

Even though he can't see it, you smile at him, murmuring out your thanks before slipping into the bathroom. Usually, you're quite quick at getting changed, but today you can't stop staring at the big grin on your face in the mirror and thinking about the boy that put it there.


	4. 4

The day has finally come where you have a free morning.

It’s odd, not waking up to your alarm, but you enjoy snoozing under the covers even when Johnny finally (noisily) wakes up and gets ready to go to his lecture. You must’ve dozed off because when you finally get up, he’s gone, though the scent of his morning coffee still lingers throughout the dorm.

Not wanting to waste such a beautiful day you pull on some clothes and head out to do some more painting. Since it’s mid-morning there aren’t many people on campus, so you enjoy a leisurely stroll without having to worry about any odd stares or stress about being caught out. You’d been here for almost a week now but you still couldn’t fully relax.

The door to your art room is wide open and at first, you think another student might have had the same idea as you. Upon entering the room, it’s an entirely different story.

Strips of paper lay scattered on the floor, strewn in-between tables and easels. At first, you can’t comprehend what you’re seeing until the pieces connect in your mind and you realise that it’s a painting. A painting has been destroyed.

An ugly feeling bubbles up in your stomach, a sort of sick, twisted anger that can’t fully explode yet. Not until you know your painting is safe.

Where had you last put it? You start at the back of the room, feet crunching on the paper as you hurry over, eyes roaming around and trying to catch a glimpse of your work.

It’s not at the back, or the front, or by the door. It isn’t in the cupboards or the back rooms, which leaves only one option. 

You look down, and your blue stares back at you.

The blue colour you’d spent hours debating over, mixed countless of times to paint your ocean. It is unmistakably that same colour. 

Picking up the torn canvas you can’t help the tears that prick at your eyes when you catch a glimpse of your mutilated shark, torn to pieces right in front of you.

The twisted feeling inside you explodes, sharp shards of anger embedding themselves into your stomach lining. You want to throw up, scream, _do something_.

But instead, you cry, droplets welling up and hitting the destroyed painting, ruining it even more.

You don’t have to think too hard to know who’s done this. Youngmi’s face bubbles up in your mind, eyes cold and her face all hard lines, a cruel smile on her face. She would have had access to this room, she would’ve been able to see when you weren’t around.

The painting becomes scrunched up in your hand.

-

You’re in no state to go anywhere so you end up in the back of the library, head in your hands as you try to fend off the tears. One minute you grab ahold of yourself, but when you realise all your hard work has gone down the drain and imagine how pathetic you look, a fresh wave starts.

The art exhibition is in a week. A _week_. There’s no way you can replicate your work in that time, nor do you _want_ to. You’d poured your heart and soul into that painting and there was no way you had the energy to re-do it.

“Daehyun?”

It’s Doyoung’s voice, full of concern, and you take a moment to compose yourself, blinking away the tears before looking up to see him coming over to you.

“Are you okay?” He peers at you, “have you been crying?”

“I’m fine,” you grin at him, forcing your exterior to turn to stone. The last thing you need is him poking around, no matter how much you want to be comforted. “What’re you doing here?”

“I wanted to let you know we finished our tests,” he’s still looking you up and down. “We’re all in the cafeteria. I tried texting you but I got no reply. Are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Doyoung,” you put on a smile. “Just had a bad morning, but it’s all behind me now. Let’s go.”

He casts you one last look, biting his lower lip nervously but thankfully keeping quiet. There’s not any conversation as you walk through the halls and you’re grateful for that; it gives you time to compose yourself.

To your surprise, most of the boys you’ve met throughout your time here are sitting together. You’re unsure of how Taeyong knows Yuta or Johnny knows Donghyuck, but you don’t question it. They greet you enthusiastically and you try your best to reciprocate it, avoiding Johnny’s gaze as you glance around the canteen.

And you spot her, chatting with a few of her girlfriends. She doesn’t notice you, too busy giggling at something and acting like she doesn’t have a care in the world while rage builds inside you. Youngmi’s on your art course too and although you want nothing more than to smash up her painting, you don’t know which one is hers.

How was she allowed to get away with it? Had no-one seen her? Were there no cameras in there? Your anger spiked again and before you knew it you were standing up.

“I’ll be right back,” you murmur to Yoonoh, who’s sitting next to you, oblivious to the way the boys have fallen silent as you stalk away and over to the girl.

The look on your face must be as black as thunder because when Youngmi’s friend spots you coming, she whispers to her with a nervous expression on her face and they stand up, exiting the cafeteria.

You follow but are unable to catch up eventually giving into your frustration and calling out her name, taking advantage when she stops walking by catching up to her.

“What do you want?” She asks in a bored tone, but there’s a gleam to her eyes. She’s been waiting for this, waiting for you to confront her, you just know it.

“Why the hell did you do that to my painting?” You hiss at her, resisting the urge to grab her shirt and shake her. 

“Do what?” She replies. Your hands itch.

“Rip it up. You might be a bitch but you’re not a dumb one.” You snap back. Her face contorts to one of apathy to one of fury as she glares at you.

“Watch your fucking mouth, rat.”

“Or what? What the fuck are you gonna do to-” she cuts you off by grabbing your collar and dragging you spluttering to the wall. You may have been masquerading as a male but Youngmi was a tall, lean girl with a firm grip that you were unable to get out of. Instead of struggling, you glare at her, similar to the way an animal does when it can no longer struggle, panting heavily with wide eyes and waiting for what happens next.

“I don’t give a _shit_ about you, or your painting,” she murmurs, drawing so close to you that for a moment you forget about how angry you are and try to sink further into the wall, terrified. “I just don’t like it how losers like you think they can walk into this school like they own the place, all because they got some stupid _scholarship_. Anyone who goes here knows that the scholarship places are for _us_. I don’t know how you wormed your way in here, but I want you out.”

She leans back, taking in your frozen expression. “And until you _fuck off_ , your painting isn’t going to be the only thing that gets destroyed.”

Then she lets you go, withdrawing her hand like she’s just touched a piece of vermin.

“What the _fuck_ is going on.”

The two of you turn to see Johnny, with a face like thunder, as well as Yuta and Taeyong, observing you all. The latter’s usually ethereal face is frowning, all harsh lines and dark eyes as he glares at the girls and Yuta looks furious. But Johnny’s hands are clenched, eyes trained on Youngmi’s, who stares back at him fearlessly.

Then, she rolls her eyes, turning her back on the four of you and slinking off, friends behind her. Seconds later Taeyong is at your side, looking you up and down.

“You okay, Daehyun?” He asks worriedly, hands coming to your shoulders to straighten out your clothes.

You shake him off. “I’m fine.”

“You don't _look_ fine,” Yuta scowls. “You look like you almost got the shit beaten out of you by a girl. I know they say you’re not supposed to hit them but it would’ve been self-defence!”

“What did she do?” Johnny watches your facial expression evenly and you realise he’s trying to gouge around for weakness, to see how upset you truly are. You hadn’t been the most open person in the cafeteria.

“She destroyed my art project,” there was no use lying to him. To your surprise, his face contorts to one of relief, a disbelieving laugh leaving his mouth.

"Thank God,“ he exhales. "I thought it was something serious.”

“How is that not serious?” You scowl out, wounded at his lack of empathy. Wasn’t Johnny supposed to be on your side?

“I thought she was getting some guys to beat you up or something,” he shrugs. Yuta looks between the two of you nervously, sensing the oncoming argument but unable to stop it.

“Do you know how long that painting took?” You ask him in disbelief. He shrugs again.

“Do you know you’re getting upset over a painting?”

“Guys, let’s just-” You cut Taeyong off, stepping forward with narrowed eyes, having found a new path to direct your anger down. 

“In case you didn’t realise, Johnny, I’m here for an _art_ scholarship. And that painting? My first assignment. My first chance to impress these people,” you throw your hands up, scoffing. “Not that it means anything to you.”

He glares back. “At least if I was in your position I could’ve defended myself.”

His comment stings because it’s true. A nasty concoction of hurt and disbelief fills you as you realise he’s taking the secret the two of you share and using it to coat his insults. 

“Why did I even like you?” There’s nothing more you can say without undoing all your lies, so you leave him with the only truth you can share, letting your hurt take over all the features on your face, an expression meant only for him, and stalk away.

-

Unlike when your painting was destroyed, there’s no sadness when it comes to Johnny. He’s always made you feel strong emotions, such as heavy irritation or an overwhelming sense of joy, and this time is no different.

You’re so angry you can’t even think straight, storming straight off campus and onto the streets before you come back to your senses.

You’re not familiar with anywhere in the city except for the supermarket, so with the money you find in your pockets you dart into the nearest coffee shop, curling up in a booth with a hot drink and brooding quietly, sitting there until your phone vibrates.

**Donghyuck:**

_where are u?_

In between the missed calls and various messages (someone’s obviously let everyone else know what’s going on), Donghyuck’s text stands out to you and so is the only one you respond to, giving him the name of the cafe before switching off your phone and finishing the rest of your drink, content to stew in silence.

When he finally arrives, he orders you another along with a coffee for himself. The smell reminds you of Johnny and your anger resurfaces again, looking for another outlet. You’re ready to vent.

“I know you’re not, but I’m still gonna ask anyway: are you okay?” He brings his mug to his lips and raises his eyebrows, awaiting your reply.

“No,” you scoff miserably, unable to meet his gaze.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Do I wanna talk about how unfair it is?” You huff. “Yeah, I do. Why the hell is it always me?”

“I dunno.”

“And why the hell does Johnny have to be such a _prick_?” You choke up embarrassingly fast, voice raising in pitch before getting stuck in your throat. You stare at the table, trying to blink back tears while Donghyuck moves to sit by your side, rubbing your back gently while you take a few sips of your drink to soothe yourself.

“It must be hard rooming with that idiot,” he sighs, “especially when you’re a girl.”

Your mouthful goes shooting across the table while Donghyuck grins on, delighted.

“How the hell do you know that?” Several minutes later, after you’ve grabbed some tissues and mopped up your mess, you stare open-mouthed at your friend, who’s back sitting opposite you.

He grins. “I realised when you bumped into me and I pulled you up. Not to be a dick or anything, but you _definitely_ have boobs, Daehyun.”

“It’s Y/N,” you reply quietly, embarrassed.

“And that confirms it,” he chirps happily. “I wasn’t totally sure- maybe you just worked out your pectorals? But that confirms it! Your voice went unnaturally high when you were venting, too.”

"Brilliant,” you send him a depressed look and he giggles. “Are you gonna tell everyone?”

“Of course not,” he finished off his coffee, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “It’s none of my business and you’re a cool person.”

Something about his positive reaction, so dissimilar to Johnny’s, causes you to spill everything, from why you came to the school to Johnny finding out.

“About him,” Donghyuck tells you when you’ve finished, “he’s known to be a bit of a dick sometimes, but from what I can tell, he likes you. He’s not used to deep, important talks and feelings though, you know? He’ll come around once he figures it out.”

“Thanks,” his words make you relax enough to send him a small smile, grateful for his words. He grins back triumphantly like he knew you would be fine all along, and at that moment you feel a sense of relief that you can share your secret with someone like him.

-

The rest of the day is spent with Donghyuck. He shows you all the local hotspots, including an arcade (where he crushes you at _Dance Dance Revolution_ ) and a fast-food joint where he treats you to a greasy burger.

You spend your time how you want to, as a young adult instead of a student who’s caught up in pretending to be someone she’s not. When Donhyuck pretends to push you into a fountain, you squeal childishly. When he drags you shopping with him, you let him kit you out in some ‘proper’ male clothes (though you longingly look over at the female’s section more than once).

It’s late into the night when you finally make your way back to the dorms. You’d managed to push Johnny to the back of your mind ever since your chat in the coffee shop but now you were back in your room, there was no way you could pretend he didn’t exist.

That didn’t mean you weren’t going to try, though.

“Where have you been?” He demands, pushing up off his bed when you enter the room. You don’t reply, grabbing your clothes and heading towards the bathroom instead.

Except Johnny moves to block the way, looking down at you with a somewhat smug expression with his arms folded, thinking he’s got his way.

“Where’d you go? You’re not still mad, are you?”

“Get out of my way,” you look up at him calmly, watching his cocky expression falter, “before I kick you in the dick.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, paling and backing away, allowing you to enter. When you come out a few minutes later you find him sulking on his bed, watching silently as you slide under your duvet and bring out your sketchpad.

Spending a day with Donghyuck has shown you there wasn’t much point in wallowing in the past. It sucked, yes, but you had work to do.

Johnny mumbles something and you reluctantly turn to look at him.

"Speak up.”

“I asked if you’re cooking tonight?” He refuses to meet your eyes and his remorseful figure almost causes you to crack a smile. Had he been waiting for you to feed him?

“Well,” you turn back to your sketchpad, “I figured that since you're _clearly_ very capable of 'being in my position’, you can cook for yourself.”

You can practically _feel_ him wincing but you pay no mind to it, letting your pencil run across the paper to start the beginnings of your new artwork. You’re going to draw a shark again but this time it’ll be a watercolour of one feeding, and you’ll stain the paper with a crimson red.

-

The silence between the two of you continues to the next day. You ignore him in the morning even though there’s a soggy bowl of cereal waiting for you in the kitchen. Donghyuck’s words ring in your ears:

“ _He’s not used to deep, important talks and feelings though, you know? He’ll come around once he figures it out.”_

Yuta’s glad to see you’re alive and unharmed but you have to dodge a hug from Jungwoo, using the former boy as a shield.

“I’m sorry we weren’t there to help you,” he pouts sadly and you laugh.

“Don’t worry about it. I was just taken by surprise that day.”

"I’m telling you, Daehyun,” Yuta sighs, “aim for the boobs. Catch her by surprise.”

“ _Yuta_ ,” Jungwoo looks shocked. “You can’t just _hit_ people!”

When he’s not looking, Yuta rolls his eyes at you, and you lose it, dissolving into sniggers while Jungwoo whacks you repeatedly, trying to sober you up. When you eventually do, Yuta resumes the conversation.

“Have you made up with Johnny yet?”

“Made up? We’re notkids, Yuta,” you sigh at him. “And besides, I want an apology.”

“Good luck with that,” Jungwoo sighs.

“That’s true, but seriously, Daehyun,” Yuta turns to you sternly. “If Youngmi ever pulls anything like that again, let us know. We’ve got your back.”

“Thank you,” you reply sincerely. “But I’ve gotta fight my own battles.”

-

At lunch Donghyuck intercepts you and drags you off-campus, demanding you repay him for yesterday with your company. He takes you to another cafe and, despite your protests, pays for the meals.

“This is like a date!” You hiss at him.

He leans back in his chair, unbothered. “Ah yes. Two guys, sitting in a restaurant, five feet apart 'cause we’re not gay.”

“Donghyuck!” You gape at him in mock outrage before dissolving into giggles, unable to keep it together upon seeing his straight face.

“Seriously though,” he continues despite your laughter, “what are you going do about the upcoming sports event? It’s coming up soon.”

You sigh. “I don’t know. I’m thinking of calling in sick or something.”

“Good luck with that,” he snorts. “I’ll try and help if I can.”

“Thanks,” you grin at him and he returns the gesture.

After you’ve eaten, you head back to the campus, joking around and trying to trip each other up as you walk. You’ve almost got Donghyuck set up to fall when someone calls his name from afar.

Upon closer inspection it’s two girls, who look slightly familiar. 

“They’re in our Social Sciences class,” Donghyuck murmurs to you before they approach, “Soyeon on the left, Hyejin on the right.”

“Thanks,” you whisper back before painting a bright smile on your face.

“Hey,” the girl called Soyeon grins at the two of you before directing her focus on Donghyuck. “Did you get my text?”

"Your text?” Donghyuck echoes meekly, clearly having no idea what she’s talking about. “ _Oh_ , your text! Yeah.”

“Great!” She beams at him, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. Hyejin makes eye contact with you and you smile nervously. You knew how to talk to girls, just not when you were dressed as a member of the opposite sex.

“And-” suddenly, Donghyuck’s gripping your arm, “this is Daehyun! He’s in our social sciences too! He’d be more than happy to go with Hyejin.”

“What’s this?” You peer at him, confused.

“A double date,” Soyeon smiles at you while Hyejin stares at the ground, blushing. “Me and Donghyuck, you and Hyejin. I asked him a while back but he never got back to me. Are you down for that, Daehyun?”

You turn to Donghyuck and your panic is reflected in his eyes. _Help me_ , he mouths, squeezing your arm until it’s almost painful.

“Sure!” You squawk, plastering on a grin at the two girls.

"Perfect,“ Soyeon grins, all teeth. "It’s a date.”

-


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just got a haircut so now my hair is short and curly and cute. Anyways, here's the chapter x

-

"It's a date?" You say hysterically, turning to look at Donghyuck once the girls walk off. " _ It's a date? _ "

He raises his hands cautiously. "Now, Y/N-"

"We're so screwed," you hiss at him. "I can't do this! I can't lie to that girl. I can't go on a  _ date! _ "

"Stop complaining for a second," Donghyuck rolls his eyes at your mini-breakdown, unimpressed. "Let me explain."

"Lay it on me," you snarl with a glare. 

"Soyeon and I have been texting for a bit and she asked if we could go on a double date. I won't lie to you, I ghosted her-  _ don't look at me like that  _ -and when she came up to me I panicked. It'll be better if you're there- less awkward, and Hyejin is really nice."

"We have to cancel," you beg him. "I can barely survive around campus as it is. There's no way I can pretend to be interested in a girl when I'm  _ lying  _ to her."

"We can't cancel!" Donghyuck groans, "Soyeon will kill me. Look-" he throws an arm around your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you, "it'll probably be this weekend or something, so you have plenty of time to Google what to do."

"Google?" You stare at him in disbelief. " _ Google _ ?"

-

Your now-soured mood doesn't improve once you head to your afternoon classes. You unfortunately share Advanced Literature with Johnny and it only gets worse when you climb up the auditorium and see your friends have saved you a seat right next to him, with Taeyong on the other side.

You move to sit on the other side of Doyoung but a hand firmly grips your wrist and tugs you down right into the seat you  _ didn't  _ want to be in.

Turning to glare at Johnny, you snatch your wrist back from his grasp and begin to stand up. However, Taeyong pushes you back down.

"Stop fighting," he murmurs and you have no choice but to oblige. Feuding with Johnny is one thing, but you don't want to annoy your other friends, so you settle down and prepare to suffer in silence.

It annoys you how much you miss talking to Johnny, even if it was just him teasing you. You half expect him to suddenly start talking, or scoff at some of the students below you, but he remains quiet. Similarly, you don't speak, refusing to give in without a proper apology.

The lecture begins and Johnny, as per usual, is insufferable. He doesn't look at you as he drapes his arm around the back of your chair, almost touching the back of your neck. You hate the way you become so aware of him and where his arm is because it's as if the room is heating up, trying to make you wriggle and writhe in your seat, but you won't give Johnny the satisfaction of knowing he's getting to you. You'll wait it out.

But it doesn't end there. Johnny trails behind you as you pack up your things and bid goodbye to your friends before heading to the art room. He doesn't speak and neither do you, not until he follows you  _ inside  _ the art room and you snap. 

"What are you doing here?" You glower at him, watching the way he shuts the door behind him and looks around the room before fixing his eyes on you.

"You're the one that said I could wait inside, remember?" He recalls without an ounce of the usual teasing that you normally find in his tone. It unnerves you but you don't dignify him with a response, turning to prepare for your new watercolour instead. 

But hearing him pace around causes something inside you to snap. With folded arms and a neutral expression on your face, you turn to face him.

"Are you going to apologise?"

The way he sighs and runs a hand through his hair almost breaks your calm facade. It's only then you notice the slight bags under Johnny's eyes and the way his hair won't lay totally flat, as if he's been messing it up throughout the day. If you didn't know any better, you'd say your little spat had irked him more than you'd thought.

He stares you dead in the eyes before answering your question.

"Yes."

The words on your lips falter when you see the raw, honest sincerity in his eyes. Maybe he sees something in yours too, because he turns away from your gaze to admire the art, moving slowly around the room.

"I didn't understand how important your art was to you," he gazes at the paintings, a hand coming up to trace the edges of the closest one. "But I guess you can say I've taken some time to become educated. Your painting must've taken forever, not to mention all the details."

"It did," you murmur in agreement, unsure of where he's heading.

"I shouldn't have reacted the way I did," he carries on, "just because I'm not an artist, it doesn't mean I should've invalidated your work- or you -like that."

As he speaks, he drifts away from the paintings until he's right before you, searching your eyes to see if he's forgiven, desperate for your validation. It's a new side to him that takes a moment to register with you. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N," your name on his tongue brings heat to your cheeks, further fuelled by his sincerity. "It won't happen."

It's like the roles are reversed, him being serious while you try to play it off, looking anywhere but at him in order to try and compose yourself. 

"It's fine," you mumble. "I'm just glad you said sorry."

"So we're good?" You look back at him at his hopeful tone, watching the way his eyebrows raise and small smile lifts his lips. "Can I have a hug?"

And just like that, he's back, arms stretched wide as you back away. 

"Absolutely not." You eye the way he keeps walking towards you warily, his smile growing.

"Don't you dare, Johnny Suh!" You yelp before he lunges, wrapping you up and swirling you gently while you try to stop your giggles, closing your eyes as you feel the world spin around you.

"But seriously," he continues when he lets you go, holding you still to sort your messy hair out, "I'm going to do something about Youngmi."

"Please don't," you frown, gently pushing his arms away. "I don't want someone else to fight my battles for me."

"Fine," he rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, "but at least let me get us dinner tonight. I still feel kinda bad."

"Sure," you poke his side before heading back to your canvas, preparing to paint while he takes a seat on one of the stools. "We can do that."

-

Your evening is spent scrolling through social media. True to his word, Johnny had bought you takeout (and proceeded to eat most of it himself) and was now on his bed with his laptop.

"What're you doing for the sports thing?" He eventually pipes up.

"Why do you ask?" You roll over to face him and watch as he points to his laptop screen.

"I just got an email telling us what we'll need for the day. Check yours."

You do, scrambling to bring up the email app on your phone and sure enough, there's a new message in your inbox detailing what you'll need to bring and where you'll need to go for the day. With a groan, you realise the date incident with Donghyuck and Hyejin and the argument with Johnny had caused this to slip your mind.

"I'll just make Donghyuck help me," you reason. "It's the least he can do."

"Donghyuck?" Johnny sits up. "Why is he helping you? Did you tell him?"

"He figured it out," you shrug. 

"Is he gonna keep it a secret?" Johnny seems more alarmed than you at this point. You look at him weirdly.

"Yes. Why do you care?"

He stammers for a second before slowly lowering himself back down onto the bed.

"I don't," is his reply, "but if you get kicked out and I get a shitty new 

roommate, then we'll know Donghyuck is to blame."

As his laptop now seems more interesting than you, you're drawn back to your phone. However, it's only a few minutes later that Johnny talks again.

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," you have nothing better to do, but as Johnny fumbles around with his laptop you begin to realise you may have made a mistake.

"I can watch it from here, right?" You point to your bed nervously.

"You won't be able to see it," Johnny counters. "Just come sit over here."

"Do we need popcorn? I can go make popcorn-"

You're cut off by Johnny's groan. "Just get over here, Y/N."

So you do, nervously making your way over and settling down next to him. Johnny is entirely comfortable, eyes trained on the screen as he sets it up and presses play while you silently marvel at how warm he is and how stiff you are in comparison. 

_ Relax, Y/N,  _ you scold yourself, forcing your limbs to slacken even though that means you fold into Johnny a little bit more. He doesn't seem to mind, eyes stuck on the screen as the introductions begin and the both of you still.

It doesn't last long; Johnny's arm is trapped by your body, so he lifts it up and around you like he did earlier in the lecture except this time, it feels much more intimate.

You can only hope Johnny doesn't see the way your cheeks darken at the proximity. Realistically, he's probably comfortable with the silence, but you're desperate to escape the awkwardness.

"Is this all you do on your laptop?" You ask quietly.

"Basically," he murmurs back, and the low octave of his voice shocks you. You're so close it practically vibrates through your body. "I study sometimes, too."

"Only sometimes?"

"Only sometimes." You can  _ hear  _ the smile in his voice, though his answer raises more questions for you.

"What do you wanna do when you're older? Like, why do you study?"

He doesn't speak for a moment and you worry you've offended him, until he finally replies.

"It's stupid, but when I was younger I wanted to own a coffee shop."

You never thought Johnny would reply with that, expecting him to say 'CEO' or 'billionaire' instead. But as his words sunk it in made perfect sense and you could almost imagine him behind the counter serving customers, or counting up the profits from a successful day.

"You do like coffee," you agree. He laughs, jostling you.

"Yeah, I do, but I'll be taking over my father's business."

"Ah," you keep your eyes on the movie and voice even, unsure of what to say. Nevertheless, you are much more relaxed now, and the two of you continue watching until your eyes droop and you doze off.

-

The weekend comes far too quickly for your liking and while Johnny spends his morning in bed, gently dozing, you're staring off into space, dreading what's to come in a few short hours.

"Johnny." You're left with no choice but to request help from your roommate, who's currently resisting your shakes and trying to push you away. "Johnny, wake up."

"This better be good, Y/N." He yawns, stretching out before rolling over so he can look at you. Trying to ignore how cute he looks in the morning with his hair fluffed up and eyes blinking rapidly, you tell him what's going on. 

"Wait, what?" His eyes fly open as he tries to sit up. "You're going on a date?"

"With a girl who thinks I'm a boy!" You repeat earnestly. "And I don't know what to do!"

" _ Fucking  _ Donghyuck," he curses, sitting upright and scratching his head, "I'm gonna kill him-"

"We don't have time for death threats, Johnny!" You grab his arm and haul him up before pacing in front of him, gesturing to yourself. "Tell me how to be a guy!" 

"Just let me go for you," he moves to go to the bathroom but you grab his wrist to stop him. 

"You can't. Donghyuck and that girl- Hyejin, I think? -are expecting me there. You can't go, it'll look really bad."

"You really need to stop hanging around that kid," Johnny grumbles, annoyed. "But fine, make me a coffee and I'll spill the sacred secrets."

So you do and he does. According to Johnny, you need to be 'nice but not  _ too  _ nice', in order to keep her interested. You have to use 'manners', and 'pay for everything' which honestly, you knew already.

"That was shit advice." You scowl at him as you pull on your jacket, tousling up your hair one last time before grabbing your phone and wallet.

"Whatever. Don't kiss her." He rolls his eyes before clambering back into bed and you stick your middle finger up at him before heading out.

According to Donghyuck's text, the four of you were going to a cafe and then catching a movie, which seemed harmless enough. However, when you saw Hyejin, who was looking exceptionally pretty, you can't help the guilt that bubbles up. 

"You look lovely," you greet her enthusiastically, watching the way her eyes light up.

"Thank you so much!" She tucks a strand of brown hair behind her ears. "You look very handsome."

"Thanks," you smile back at her. For some reason, her compliments don't make you blush like Johnny's do. You chalk that down to gender differences.  _ Definitely  _ gender differences.

"You're here," Soyeon greets you happily with Donghyuck by her side, who's clad in jeans and a hoodie. Clearly,  _ lots _ of effort was put into his fashion choices. "Shall we eat?"

You go through the motions, pulling back Hyejin's chair, collecting her order and paying for her at the counter. Judging by the way she looks at you with stars in her eyes, you  _ may  _ have made a mistake. It's proven when you sit back down and start a conversation: when you attempt to make a joke she laughs too loudly and clutches your arm.

Your mind can't help but wonder. Would Johnny act like a gentleman on a date? Would he be polite to the girls he liked, or casual and teasing like he was with you? Would he take them to a fancy restaurant or go and buy them takeout? He runs through your mind, even as the food is brought over.

Donghyuck kicks your leg from under the table, bringing you back from your daydream and into the conversation just in time.

"So, Daehyun," Hyejin beams at you, "Donghyuck mentioned you're taking art?"

"Yeah," you reply, sipping your drink before swallowing hastily. "I'm on the scholarship course, actually."

"That's gotta be rough," Soyeon butts in, "I heard Youngmi somehow got onto that course. Dunno how when her father can pay for her to get on the regular course, but I've heard she's a bit of a bully."

You and Donghyuck exchange grim glances. "Tell me about it," you say.

"You too?" Hyejin chews her lip, looking downcast. "We went to the same high school and she took a dislike to one of my friends. She ruined his life, to the point where he tried to commit suicide and ended up halfway across the country. It took a lot of money to keep his family quiet but they must have done because the school wouldn't have accepted her otherwise. They're happy to take bribes and such, but they wouldn't stand for a scandal that big."

"Damn," Donghyuck whistles, glancing at you as you muse quietly while sipping your drink.

The rest of the date goes well and you learn Hyejin aspires to be a biochemist, while Soyeon wants to go into the movie business. It would suit the latter, you muse, as she dominates the conversation, putting everyone at ease.

You and Donghyuck regroup in the bathrooms just before the movie starts, leaving the girls to chatter in the foyer. It only takes you a moment to check all the stalls are empty before you lay into him.

"I can't do this anymore, Donghyuck! I can't lead her on."

"You're doing fine, you just have to get through a movie and then we're done." He replies nonchalantly, unbothered.

"Well Soyeon isn't exactly hanging off your every word, is she?" You spit back. "Hyejin is too sweet- did you know she likes everything I like? I'm giving her false hope, can't you  _ see _ -"

You swoop around to face him only to shriek and cover your eyes as Donghyuck stares back at you from the urinal.

"Are you  _ serious _ , Donghyuck?"

"We're in the men's bathroom, Y/N," he deadpans while you remain with your eyes closed. "Did you think we were going to just talk in here?"

"I can't believe you just did that."

"I hate to say it, Y/N, but man up." The sound of running water alerts you that it's safe for you to open your eyes again. Donghyuck grabs a paper towel, cleaning his hands before throwing it in the bin.

"Walk it like you talk it,  _ Daehyun _ ," he winks cheekily, clapping you on the shoulder before sauntering back outside, leaving you shell-shocked in his wake.

The movie is some romance-comedy, far less exciting than the one you and Johnny had watched last night. Though Hyejin gasps excitedly every other minute, you're much less invested in the film and far more occupied with the sudden realisation that you'd rather be here with _ Johnny _ . 

The thought startles you and is quickly buried deep down where you won't have to deal with it, much less contemplate what it means for you. Instead, you catch Donghyuck's eye, who has sneakily placed his arm around Soyeon. From the look he gives you it's clear he wants you to do the same.

You subtly shake your head.  _ No way. _

He sends you a pointed look.  _ You have to. _

You grit your jaw and glare at him.  _ It's not happening. _

He jerks his head towards her.  _ She's sad. _

Your eyes drift to where Hyejin is sitting next to you and, sure enough, she's as close as possible to you as she can get, eyes glued to the screen.

You want to scream at how unfair this is, but eventually (and reluctantly) you raise your arm so it's around her. The whole action is awkward because you've never done it before, but Hyejun seems pleased, sending you a happy smile and offering you some of her popcorn.

Donghyuck disguises his laugh as a cough and your eye twitches, debating how horrified your date would be if you launched the popcorn bag at his head.

-

"I had a great time tonight," Hyejin looks at you, eyes shining and you can only smile awkwardly back at her.

"Me too."

"I don't normally go for guys the same height as me," she carries on, smiling bashfully, "but you're really nice, Daehyun, I'd love to see you again."

Soyeon comes over, latched onto Donghyuck’s arm. "We  _ have  _ to do this some other time!" She gushes and you meet Donghyuck's eyes, narrowing them.

"Would you mind if we went on a second date, Daehyun?" Hyejin tugs your shirt gently and you look back at her, trying not to break down and apologise there and then at the hopeful look in her eye. You can't refuse her now, not when she looks so happy.

"Of course," you choke out, sending her a pained smile which she glosses over, beaming. 

After that you walk the two girls to their dorms, and as soon as they go inside Donghyuck rips into you.

" _ Of course _ , Hyejin, I'd  _ love  _ to see you again!" He teases, slinging an arm around your neck and dragging you along. "That's all on you, Y/N, have  _ fun _ with the next date."

"This is all your fault," you hiss out of him, wriggling out of his grip.

"You gonna take her to a fancy restaurant?  _ Oh _ , why don't you paint her? She'll love that-" 

You cut him off by charging towards him with a murderous expression on your face, only increasing your speed when Donghyuck yelps and takes off down the path.

-

"How did it go?"

Johnny's waiting for you in the kitchen, clad in only sweatpants and a tank top with a coffee in hand. You barely look at him as you walk inside and throw yourself onto the bed.

"She wants to see me again," you wail into your pillow. "She wants to see me  _ again _ !"

"Well, at least she found you hot," Johnny sits down on his bed as you flip over and glare at him, unamused. Not even the veins on his exposed forearms can drag you out of your misery.

"Why can't she find  _ you _ handsome?" You whine, staring at the ceiling.

"Does that mean you find me attractive?" The smirk in his voice lets you know you're in for a whole night of being made fun of, so you decide to cut it short, hopping into the bathroom to get ready for bed before he can pester you any more.

But it doesn't stop; Johnny's still up when you come back out.

"On a scale of one to ten, Y/N," he watches as you slink into bed. "How hot do you find me?"

"Not in the mood, Johnny." You grumble at him.

"Is that a ten?"

"Shut up before I smack you," you warn him, hitting the light switch and encasing the room in darkness. There's a silence for a few minutes and you relax, starting to drift off.

"In all seriousness, Hyejin or me?"

Your eyes snap open and Johnny yelps as a pillow pelts him straight in the face.

-


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is @lucaswithnoshirt if you want to be added to the taglist (also I'm very awesome over there go check me out).

-

You don’t bother setting your alarm on Monday because your anxiety wakes you up just fine.

Today, the sporting event takes place, evident by the rowdy cries of fired-up students that you can hear through the window, causing you to slide your head under your pillow to try and escape the noise.

You had decided you would simply sleep the day away. Donghyuck had confirmed he would cover for you if anyone noticed your absence so you were free to spend the day in your dorm room doing whatever you pleased, which included painting as you had managed to bring up your watercolours and canvas so you could do some work if you got bored.

You’re close to dozing off again when you hear Johnny moving about on his bed. Watching him out of the corner of your eye you see him stretch and sit up, looking as tired as you feel.

It’s hard to keep your eyes open as you watch Johnny get ready for the day, disappearing into the bathroom and coming out with damp hair and a toothbrush in his mouth. It’s a good look on him, you muse, admiring the way his hair clings to his forehead before you roll over to try and get comfy again.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” his voice is slightly muffled as he brushes his teeth and you stick an arm out from under the covers, waggling your fingers as a greeting. “Are you just gonna stay in bed?”

“That’s the plan,” you sigh out, fluffing your pillows so you can rest your head there and watch him from a comfier angle. He grins at the sight of you, giving you a half-hearted wave back before he heads back into the bathroom to deposit his toothbrush. 

“Have a good time then, don’t miss me too much,” he comes back out and sends you a wink before heading to the door as you watch him go. After the door shuts you reach for your phone and begin to browse through social media, content with the silence Johnny had left you in.

It doesn’t last long, only an hour or so before there’s a knock on your door. You had been drifting, phone slack in your hand and so the sharp noise jolts you awake.

Who was it? Would they care if you didn’t answer? You stare at the door in reproach before the doorknob jiggles.

“Daehyun, are you in there?”

A sigh of relief leaves your lips, it’s Doyoung. Upon opening the door, the boy looks you up and down, clearly unimpressed with your pyjamas.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him. As if he just remembers himself, Doyoung grins and holds up a clear bag which seems to contain some sort of uniform. A sports uniform, you realise slowly.

“I’m here to collect you,” he smiles happily as if pleased with himself. “Johnny arrived without you and said you weren’t feeling good, but I didn’t want you to miss out on your first event here!”

“Ohh,” you try to hide the growing disappointment and panic on your face. “That's great, thank you. But- um, I’m actually not feeling too good so-”

“You’ll be okay.” Doyoung smiles wider, stepping into your room and grasping your shoulders, pushing you towards your bathroom. “Just go and get dressed, I’ll wait here.”

There’s nothing else for you to do except listen to his demands so you do, cursing Johnny, Donghyuck and your failed plan as you begin to pull some clothes on.

-

You stare at the boy’s locker room with such an intense feeling of apprehension that it takes every muscle in your body to prevent you from turning tail and scampering back to your dorm room.

“Are you alright, Daehyun?” Doyoung calls from behind you, sending a questioning look your way as he hoists his gym bag higher over his shoulder and heads into the changing room.

“Are you sure I’m needed here?” You call to the older boy feebly, almost forgetting to lower your voice an octave. He just laughs.

“Don’t be so shy, Daehyun, we’re all guys here! You’ll have a great time.” With that he disappears around the corner while you try to bolster up the courage and remind yourself that _you are a guy, you are a guy_ , you are a _guy_.

So you clutch your bag tighter and step in.

It’s noisy, people joking about and laughing with each other, though you don’t know who as you’re too busy trying to keep your head down and head to the toilets. There has to be a toilet in here, right? Somewhere you can change-

“Hey, Daehyun!” You whip your head around in horror as Taeyong calls to you from nearby. He’s with Doyoung and Yoonoh, the latter who has already got his shirt off and you feel your cheeks burn as you hastily look away.

Taeyong calls for you to come over and you can’t exactly decline so you drag yourself over and try to ignore the boys getting changed around you, focusing only on looking in Taeyong’s eyes.

“Where were you headed?” the pink-haired boy asks you, moving his bag out the way so there was room for yours to be set down. “I’m sure there’s room here if you wanna change with us.”

“I was just going to go to the toilet first.” You stammer, trying to back away slowly.

“No, don’t go in there. Some of the guys like to check themselves out in the mirror. That’s the last place you want to be.” Taeyong reaches out and tries to grab your wrist in a playful manner. You avoid his hands, managing to back up a few steps before you feel yourself bump into someone from behind.

“What’s going on guys?” Johnny asks, bending down slightly to swing an arm around your shoulders and pull you into his chest. He’s shirtless and smirking and you have to resist the urge to kick his shins and storm out. He could have at least _tried_ to stop Doyoung earlier.

“Uh, they’re getting changed for the match, but I…” you trail off, trying to think of an excuse while playing along, “didn’t you someone from the art department was looking for me?”

“Did I?” Johnny hums, his eyes sparkling with mischief. You subtly elbow him. “ _Oh_ , yeah, I did. Sorry guy,” he frowns at his friends, taking you by the shoulders and steering you towards the exit, “I’ve gotta steal him away from you.”

Then he pushes you not-so-gently out of the changing room, grinning and mouthing ‘pervert’ before going back inside. You don’t have it in you to argue with that statement, still traumatised from seeing so many naked boys, so you just trudge back to your dorm with relief coursing through your bones.

-

Six hours later is when Johnny finally comes through the door, sweaty and still in his sports clothes. You try to ignore how well-suited he is to basketball tops and instead stick your nose further in the book you are reading.

“How was it?” You ask him, trying not to sound too interested. Although you hadn’t wanted to attend it didn’t mean you weren’t curious about how his day had gone.

“My team won,” he sighs, throwing his bag on the floor and flopping onto his bed. “It was a close call, though.”

“I bet,” you turn the page of your book, feeling satisfied at finishing yet another chapter. Unbeknownst to you, Johnny turns to look your way, frowning when you refuse to pay any attention to him.

“I think,” in one smooth motion he plucks the book from your grip, tossing it back over to his bed and grinning at your furious expression, “that you owe me for saving you back there.”

You bristle. “I would’ve been fine without you.”

“Sure,” he grins and you hate how boyishly handsome it makes his face look. “Just admit it, Y/N, you looked like a lost puppy in there.”

“I did not,” you huff at him, although you weren’t really irritated. Johnny never really annoys you anymore. “Go and take a shower, you stink.”

“Only if you reward me for saving you back there,” he leans closer, still grinning and you can’t help but avert your eyes, pretending to be very interested in your duvet.

“What do you want?”

Johnny doesn’t respond for a moment and you don’t see the way he takes in your growing blush with a smile, eyes roaming your face to see where you’re looking, if it’s not at him.

“Come and buy me food from the takeout.” Eventually, he stands up and throws your book back onto your bed, sending you a wink before disappearing into the bathroom and leaving you to try and calm down your beating heart.

It’s easier said than done, especially as he walks so close to you as you set off from your dorm, talking animatedly about how Jungwoo had taken a ball to the face and then fallen over right in front of the medic. You don’t even mind having to pay for the food because when Johnny grins at you and ruffles your hair, it’s worth the extra money.

“How did you get on without me?” He asks, opening one of the boxes and shoving a slice of pepperoni into his mouth. It hangs there limply while he sorts out the box and you resist the urge to bat it away, just to see what he would do.

“I just painted and studied,” you shrug, “not much.”

Johnny groans, a hand finally coming up to rescue his pizza. “You’re so _boring_.”

His tone tells you he’s only joking.

“I’m not! I just use my time wisely.”

“You could’ve used my laptop to watch a movie or something, at least.”

“And be exposed to your browser history? No thanks.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Johnny elbows you, laughing. “I’m a good kid.”

“Could have fooled me.”

You lapse into a comfortable silence after that, only broken when you realise Johnny’s taking you down a different route to the one you usually use to get back to the campus. This way takes you past the basketball courts he would have played on hours earlier.

It’s very modern, even containing a ball rack with basketballs lined up neatly inside it. Johnny must see you looking because he finishes off his pizza and strides over, ditching the rest of his box on the floor in favour of grabbing the topmost ball.

He turns to you, spinning it on one finger. “Wanna play?”

You narrow your eyes. “I want to _eat_.”

So you do, finishing off your own Hawaiian while watching Johnny shoot hoops. It brings back an earlier memory and you can’t help but ask him:

“What happened with you and Taeyong last year?”

He turns to you, pausing mid-throw. “Last year?” He repeats, “ah, when me and Taeyong were on the same team?”

“He said something about his ankles.”

“Oh, that,” he starts grinning. “It’s not my fault he has skinny ankles.”

You snort. “You’re scary, you know that right?”

“I didn’t even bump into him that hard,” he pretends to throw the ball at you, snorting when you flinch. It’s enough to get you to dust the excess flour off your hands and stand up.

Johnny cocks an eyebrow. “You challenging me, Y/N?”

“You’re all bark and no bite,” you reply, wandering over, feeling in a teasing mood. Johnny seems to enjoy it, watching you walk over with a small grin, ball turning in his hands.

“What’re the stakes?”

“First to ten, the winner gets to ask the loser questions,” you say confidently, trying to hide the fact you know almost nothing about basketball. It seems to work because his smile widens.

“Why questions?”

“You’re a mysterious man, Suh, you can’t blame me” you take your place on your side of the court, pushing a few flyaway strands away from your face. “Go easy on me, no ankle-breaking.”

“No promises,” he laughs confidently, as if he doesn’t have any fear of losing, and then the game begins.

It’s obvious Johnny has toned down his abilities to go easy on you. Maybe if you didn’t know his personality you would be offended, but now it’s fun to chase after him, trying to trip him up as he easily dribbles past you to score, again and again.

“Come on,” you pant as he scores the final point, dunking it and hanging off the rim just to spite you. “No fair.”

“That’s as fair as it gets, babe,” he grins down at you, smiling wider once a blush hits your cheeks. “They were your rules, not mine.”

“Let me win next time,” you go collect the ball, drawing it to your chest and getting back into position as he drops back down to the ground.

He obliges, hardly moving as you dribble forward and shoot your shot. It doesn’t go in, bouncing off the rim and you try multiple times before Johnny goes to collect the ball.

“I can’t believe you,” he sniggers, tossing it your way before coming to stand behind you, leaning over to position your arms. “Here, do it like _this_.”

Though he’s trying to help you he does more harm than good. You’re too preoccupied with the heat emitting from your face and the way his chest tenses up against your back every time he mimes shooting. When he guides your hands and releases his own at the last minute the ball goes nowhere near the hoop.

“You’re pathetic,” his forehead drops to rest on the top of your head and you leap away to collect the ball.

“I can do it,” you snark, before flicking the ball up and into the hoop. Johnny claps slowly, sarcastically, and you stick your tongue out before heading back to the pizza.

He joins you after putting the ball back, happily returning to his now-cold pizza, much to your disgust.

“Why do you like painting so much?” He asks you after a moment. His first question.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “it’s something I’ve always done. I doodled during lessons, joined the art club for a bit of fun, but as I grew older I realised it was the only thing I enjoyed doing. Everyone tells you it’s okay to not know what you want to be when you’re older but it wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to be, it was that I wanted to do what I enjoyed. So I just decided to do art.”

He doesn’t reply, only humming thoughtfully, so you ask a question of your own.

“When we watched a movie, you said you wanted to open a coffee shop. If you want to do that then why are you taking over your father’s business?”

He looks at you for a moment. “I can’t believe you remembered that. But it’s just expected of me. Ever since I was young I was ferried to school, put into specific classes and taught certain things. I didn’t have anything I enjoyed, like you. I didn’t have the _chance_ to find out what I enjoyed.”

He laughs but it has no humour to it. “I got so fed up last year. I’m sure someone’s already told you, but I bunked all my exams. I just wanted something to be _my_ decision. It didn’t matter though, my father paid off the school to put me through to the next year.”

He tilts his head up to the sky, sighing. “If I could run a coffee shop or something insignificant like that, then I would have time to just _stop_ , to enjoy life and not walk around like I’m such an asshole all the time.”

You take a moment to watch the way his hair falls back against his face as he tilts his head up to look to the stars and how his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows after his mini-speech. You evaluate him like a sculpture, admiring the biceps that peek out from under his shirt and drink up his long legs like a glass of water, all the while contemplating what he’s just said.

_Holy shit_ , you think to yourself, _I like Johnny Suh_.

It’s not a sudden epiphany or moment of realisation. It’s as if the feeling you get whenever he comes near you has finally been labelled, as if the burning heat you always feel on your cheeks finally has a name. The jigsaw piece has finally slid into place, so silently it’s not even a surprise.

“This is the part where you say, ’ _you’re not an asshole, Johnny_ ’.” He rolls his eyes at you, jolting you out of your inner monologue.

“Can’t say what’s not true, I’m afraid. Though it would help if you smiled a bit more, maybe apologised to Taeyong and made an effort to greet people. Anyway, why can’t you pursue your dreams on the side?” You ask, storing your newfound information away. “Like, open a coffee shop in your free time. I’ll provide some art for the decor if you want, free of charge.”

That causes him to laugh and you smile softly at the way he relaxes after knowing you’re not going to judge him for spilling his feelings out to you.

“I’ll think about it,” he replies, softening as he stares at you.

-

“You painted earlier today, right?” Johnny asks as the two of you get back to the dorms.

“Yeah, why?” You stick your key in the lock and twist, opening up the door.

“Let me see it. I still feel really bad about telling you it was just a painting.”

“I didn’t realise you had a heart,” you tease him, dumping the empty pizza boxes in the bin. “But don’t look at it. The art exhibition is coming up soon so you can see it then when it’s finished.” A sudden realisation causes you to gasp. “We’ve gotta go see Donghyuck’s dance showcase too, it’s on the same day. Do you think the others will want to go see it as well?”

“And here I was thinking you were gonna ask me on a date,” Johnny sighs dramatically and you refrain from lobbing a frying pan at him, biting your lip to stop you from saying something you’ll regret, like how much you would enjoy that, for example. “Besides, I’d have thought you would have wanted to spend the day with your parents.”

“What?” You turn to stare at him, frying pan forgotten in favour of making sure you’d heard him correctly. He stares back at you with a grin, totally unaware of the situation.

“Are your parents coming? First-years are allowed their parents on campus for their first exhibition- the invitations have probably already been sent out.” He flops down on his bed and looks at you expectantly.

“ _What_.”

“Can I meet your parents? Oh, I am _so_ gonna meet-”

“Oh _no_ ,” you cut him off by clapping a hand over your mouth. “I’m so fucked.”

Johnny perks up, looking worried. “What have you done this time?”

“They don’t know I’m here as a guy,” you whine, tensing up as you anticipate his reaction.

“Your parents don’t know?” Johnny’s voice climbs in volume. “Oh wow, that's _priceless_ -”

“Johnny!”

“I mean, it's _fine_ , we can sort something out.” He changes his tone quickly in an effort to calm you down. It doesn’t work and you make your way over to his bed, sitting down beside him as you stare blankly at the wall.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Do _not_ pin this on me, Y/N. You’re the one who’s all about 'achieving your dream on your own’ and shit.”

“You’re a crappy roommate.” Is all you can get out before your phone vibrates. It’s Donghyuck, delivering more knockout news.

**Donghyuck:**

_Soyeon’s set another date for lunch. It’s tomorrow._

Johnny peers over your shoulder.

“Oh damn.”

“I’m so screwed,” you groan, flopping back onto his bed and letting your hand fall limp.

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine.” Johnny seems genuinely worried by your pessimism, staring anxiously down at you. “Just tell Donghyuck you can’t make it.”

“I can’t let them down,” you sigh.

“I think you need to take a leaf out of my book,” Johnny carefully leans down next to you, joining you in your misery, “and just stop giving a shit.”

-

“Prepared for the showcase, Donghyuck?” Yuta claps the younger boy on the back as he sits down which causes the former to spit out his water everywhere. Jungwoo claps a hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing while the girl in front of him turns around, mortified at having been in the splash zone. You’re the only one to not react, still caught up in your doom and gloom.

“Just about,” Donghyuck glares at Yuta before leaning over and waving a hand in front of your face. “Daehyun? Are you there?”

“Huh? Yeah, sorry,” you gather your thoughts. “Make sure you send me a text on where to go for your showcase,”

“Roger,” Donghyuck mimics a salute and then the lecture begins. You jot your notes down diligently but the showcase weighs heavily in the back of your mind. Your parents would for sure be showing up; after a bit of coaxing from Johnny, you had texted them last night to ask if they were going and they had confirmed their attendance.

Not even the upcoming date can trump the despair you’re feeling. You’ve agreed to meet with Donghyuck after you go back to your dorm and get changed, which is where you head to after the lecture finishes.

To your surprise, there’s a note lying on the countertop when you enter the dorm. Upon closer inspection you see it’s from Johnny:

_Y/N,_

_Forget going on the date, I’m going for you and I’m going to try to steal Hyejin away. Stop being so moody and start focusing on what you’re gonna do for the showcase. I need your parents to like me and that won’t happen if you screw it up._

_Johnny._

You bite your lip to stop your grin from growing any wider, triumphantly flopping down onto your bed while clutching the note to your chest despite looking like a little schoolgirl. You like Johnny when he’s teasing, but when he does nice things for you like this, you can hardly contain yourself.

So instead of forcing yourself to spend your lunch on a date, you meet up with Doyoung, Taeyong, Taeil and Yoonoh. At your request, you sit outside (you don’t want to be anywhere near Youngmi) in the sunshine, discussing the showcase.

“When it’s finished we should go out,” Yoonoh squints as the sun hits his eyes, “get a drink or something. You and Donghyuck will need it, Daehyun.”

You weigh it up, the chance of having a night of fun versus the risk of being caught. But you have both Donghyuck and Johnny by your side to help you out, so how bad could it get?

“That’d be cool,” you reply to him, enjoying the way the boys light up at a prospective night out away from campus.

-

After your lectures the next day, you drag Donghyuck and Johnny into shopping with you. If you’re going to survive the showcase you’ll need female clothes and you didn’t pack any with you for obvious reasons.

Donghyuck seems happy to be off-campus but Johnny is so elated it scares you.

“I’m going to pick out the _cutest_ clothes,” he grins at you, half-joking and half-serious, dodging a punch from you.

“You and Donghyuck are going to help me pick out male clothes while I get my own outfit, idiot.”

“Why do you need us to help you pick out male clothes?” Donghyuck frowns, lips pursed as he tries to figure it out.

“Yoonoh wants us to all go out after the showcase and I have nothing good enough to wear. Since you guys are, well, guys, you can show me what to get so I don’t look like some old granpa.”

“Does that mean you know what you’re going to do about your parents?” Johnny asks.

“Yeah, I’ll dress up as a girl and show them my artwork in the morning, take them to lunch off-campus and then say goodbye before the afternoon, so I can make Donghyuck’s performance. If they want to see my friends I’ll just introduce Donghyuck and tell them my roommate’s busy with her showcase.”

“What about me?” Johnny pouts.

“Do you really think I’d let my parents near you?” You scoff at him, side-stepping as he tries to jostle your shoulder.

Luckily he remains quiet for most of the trip, only interrupting to point excitedly at cute oversized hoodies or matching shirts and proclaiming that you both needed to buy one. Luckily, Donghyuck keeps you sane, quickly putting together an outfit for Johnny to scrutinise.

The last stop was your least favourite because it’s a wig shop. Though tt would be easy to just tell your parents you had cut your hair, you were worried someone would recognise you and question why you were in female clothing. It was better to be safe than sorry.

The wigs range from black and straight, blonde and short and bright or pastel pink. However, as beautiful as they are, the price tag has your jaw hitting the floor.

A familiar-looking wig catches your eye, the reason being it reminds you so much of your old hair. Just as you reach out to feel the material Johnny lifts it up and plonks it on your head, adjusting it roughly.

You glare grumpily up at him while he moves it about it, frowning in concentration but doing nothing to stop him.

“Looking cute, Y/N,” Donghyuck gives you a thumbs-up from across the room where he’s trying on a red afro, somehow managing to pull it off.

Johnny guides you to a mirror. “Like it?”

The wig frames your face perfectly, looking scarily similar to your old hair. What’s even more jolting is that a small part of you reminds you that if you and Johnny had met under different circumstances, this is what you would look like, just a girl and a boy.

Your adoration for the wig must show in your eyes because Johnny plucks it off your head and goes over to the register, making the purchase before you can begin to protest.

“What the hell was that?” You hiss at him after you exit the shop, Donghyuck in tow.

He shrugs. “Think of it as another apology for the painting argument, _and_ for when I eventually meet and embarrass you in front of your parents.” He juts his chin out, grinning. “There’s no stopping me.”

“ _Johnny_ ,” you cry out, exasperated, but he walks on ahead, laughing while Donghyuck places a hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you.

“You can’t help a guy that’s whipped, Y/N.” he sighs out in a regretful tone, and you give him the side-eye before elbowing him in the stomach and catching up with the taller boy.

-


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might have forgotten to mention, but I update every Wednesday and Sunday xx

**-**

The most terrifying moment of your life was during your first year of high school when you’d entered an art contest. 

It was your first time painting in a competition and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You had looked upon the works of your competitors with apprehension, so much so that when the judges examined your piece you were certain they would laugh at you and kick you out.

Looking back that fear was tiny in comparison to how you feel now, on the day of the exhibition.

The wig won’t sit right, even after three tries. Every time you see yourself in the mirror you furrow your eyebrows at the jeans and cute sweater you are wearing as they are such a contrast to what you usually wear.

Your day has only just begun but you know it’s going to be much, _much_ worse than that art contest.

Johnny wakes up just as you’re finishing up your makeup and you watch him through the mirror on your desk, glancing away as he meets your eyes.

“You look pretty,” he sighs out while stretching, still clearly half asleep. You’re unused to such a direct compliment so you thank him more out of politeness than anything else. It’s becoming harder to navigate around Johnny now that you’ve acknowledged your crush on him so you focus on applying your nude lipgloss, blotting it a little before clearing your desk of makeup.

As you pace around the apartment, fixing yourself something to eat and checking the wig is still on properly, Johnny plagues you with questions, still bundled up in his bed.

“What time are you meeting them?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Okay, _where_ are you meeting them?”

“Again,” you fix him with a stern glare, “none of your business.”

“You’re no fun,” he sighs out, disappearing under the covers once again and leaving you in silence. He wasn’t planning anything, was he? Surely not, especially when he knows how important it is that the showcase goes well for you.

“Just behave today,” you call out as a warning before grabbing your phone and room key and shoving them into your bag, making your way to the door. “See you later!”

He doesn’t reply.

-

As you walk around the campus you can’t help but think back to your first day here when you were paranoid people would immediately know you weren’t a boy. Now it is almost the opposite; you duck your head as people walk by because you don’t want them to see you as a girl. You could laugh at the irony.

You had agreed to meet your parents at the entrance of the campus and you’re unprepared for the wave of emotion that overcomes you when you finally catch sight of them. You’d missed them more than you had realised.

“Y/N!” You mother calls to you, lighting up once she sees you and holding out her arms for a hug. You fall into her embrace and blink rapidly to stop the burning sensation in your eyes.

“How are you doing, kiddo?” You dad reaches out to ruffle your hair but you expertly side-step his outstretched hand and hug him instead.

“I missed you guys,” you tell them, “but I’m good, it’s nice here. How’s home?”

“Same as always,” your mother hangs off your arm as you bring them further into the campus. “Your aunt still brags about your paintings, but this time she just adds on that you’re at some fancy art school!”

You snort. “Fancy is one word for it.”

“You’ve settled in well though, right?” You dad chimes in. “Made friends okay? Where are they?.”

You laugh, “they’re all busy today, dad.”

“You could’ve introduced us! And your roommate- what’s she like?”

“She’s-” you pause, “nice. I like her.”

“That’s good,” your mother nods approvingly, satisfied by your answers. “Now, show me your art. I need to take a photo for the folks back home.”

While walking you can’t help but notice the other first-years who are with their parents. They’re all dressed smartly as if they were heading to a business meeting, and most are accompanied by another figure in a black suit who you can only assume is a driver or bodyguard. You can’t stop the tiny sliver embarrassment that bubbles up inside you at the sight of them, although you immediately reprimand yourself. You should never be ashamed of your parents just because they aren’t as well-off as the other families here, and neither should you compare yourself to these people. You should be blessed to even be able to _see_ your family. It wasn’t like travelling here was cheap.

As you scan through the crowd you catch a glimpse of who you think to be Jungwoo, who is diligently making his across campus with his backpack on his shoulders. He lifts up his head at the same time you squinting straight at him and for a moment your eyes meet.

You freeze, worry consuming you. Will Jungwoo recognise you? Will he come over and reveal your double-life right in front of your parents?

But then Jungwoo drops his head and carries on walking and a sigh of relief leaves your mouth. Just to be on the safe side you move to the other side of your mother, using her as a shield while trying to calm your pounding heart.

“Let’s head inside,” you usher your parents closer to the art block. There would be fewer people inside and you didn’t want a repeat of what had just happened.

The art room doesn’t have many people inside which comes as a relief to you because your mother isn’t the quietest woman, especially when she’s shouting out your praises. Your work is one of the centrepieces thanks to your hard work, showcased in the middle of the room with the other student’s paintings stationed against the walls.

“It’s so _vibrant_ , Y/N!” Your mother squeals while your father sends you a look which has you giggling. Only your mother would be able to shower compliments onto the watercolour of a feeding shark.

“Good job, kiddo,” your father puts his arm around your shoulder as the two of you admire your work in proud silence. “It’s amazing. I’m glad you’re enjoying it here.”

“I really am,” you tell him honestly, sharing a smile before your mother drags you around to see all the other art pieces, asking the names for each of the students.

It’s only as you see Youngmi enter the room with a stern-looking man beside her that you decide it’s time to head out. The last thing you need is her in the same room as you when she realises your piece has taken centre stage, especially as she knows you as ‘Daehyun’.

“Let’s get some food,” you say, hastily grabbing your mother’s hand and pulling her towards another door.

“What? But- I need to get a photo!” She cries.

“I’ll get you one, just- come on!”

-

After leaving the art room, your mother sets her sights onto something else.

“Let me see your room, Y/N,” she begs desperately.

“You can’t, mom, they’re closed,” you lie through your teeth. Your parents were more inclined to stay on campus and look around rather than go to eat and so you were reluctantly showing them around.

“Then let me just see the outside, I just want to make sure you’re being taken care of,” she demands.

You sigh through your nose, almost giving in until an idea pops into your head. Johnny had taken you a different way back onto campus when you had gone out with him the other day, past the basketball courts. You could show them that since there probably wouldn’t be many people hanging around there.

“How about we go see the sporting area?” You coax her, “a few of my friends take sports.”

“Really?” That catches her attention and she perks up, a refreshed smile on her face. “Lead the way!”

Luckily you remember how to get there, telling your parents about all the different facilities the campus has to offer. When the basketball courts come into sight let them know how fancy they are, pointing to the ball dispensers only to stop mid-sentence, catching sight of a familiar face.

“Do you know that boy?” Your mother points while you silently hope she’s not gesturing to the person you think she is, but luck isn’t on your side today.

Johnny Suh saunters over, a shit-eating grin on his face.

For lack of a better word, he looks _rich_ , the wealthiest you’ve ever seen him. His sweater is _Vuitton_ , shoes embellished with the _Gucci_ logo and his backpack looks suspiciously like a _Prada_ one you had seen in a recent online article. You hadn’t even realised Johnny owned clothes this fancy.

“Johnny!” You greet him through gritted teeth. “ _Hey_ ,”

“Who’s this?” Your mother looks between the two of you with glee, evidently happy to have found someone you know.

“I’m Johnny Suh, a second-year,” he gives your parents a killer grin as they exchange introductions. You note the straightness in Johnny’s back and the way he looks between your parents almost nervously, smiling eagerly at anything they say.

“Y/N and I share a business class together,” he gestures to you, “and she’s kindly tutoring me whenever I don’t understand anything.”

“She is?” Your father grins at you while you return the gesture, albeit confused. 

“Absolutely,” Johnny nods seriously. “You’ve raised such a smart daughter, Mr and Mrs L/N.”

You don’t even remember telling Johnny your last name but your parents are unaware, too busy being won over by him.

“You’re too kind, Johnny,” your mother simpers, practically giving him heart eyes. “We were actually just about to go out to eat. Since you’re a year older than Y/N you’ll obviously know this place better than her, so why don’t you show us around?”

“I thought we were going to walk around more! The dorms- remember the dorms?” You butt in frantically. So _this_ was Johnny’s plan. He all but confirms it from the way he lights up, innocent to your parents but you see the humour in his eyes as he watches you panic.

“It would be my pleasure,” he smiles at you, all teeth.

-

Lunch is catastrophic.

“And this one,” your father leans across the table to where Johnny is sitting next to you, empty plates forgotten as he passes the phone to him. “This was her after winning her first art award. I tried to get her to smile but she couldn’t stop crying!”

Johnny laughs as he looks at the pictures, nudging you from where you sit next to him with your head in your hands.

“You were so cute, Y/N! Mr L/N, you _have_ to send me these!”

“Of course!” Your father replies happily while you drive your elbow into Johnny’s side. He plays off the injury with a cough and you take the opportunity to do it again. He discreetly grabs your elbow, pushing it back towards you and sending you a look that clearly says _behave_.

“I’m so glad Y/N has someone like you to take care of her, Johnny,” your mother gushes. She’s been taken with Johnny ever since he had approached the three of you and is currently staring at him from across the table, adoration in her eyes.

“She’s no trouble at all,” he laughs back.

“ _Well,_ ” you muster a false cheery tone. “This has been great, but Johnny and I need to be getting back to campus. We have a few things we need to be doing and we would hate to intrude while you guys go sightseeing.”

“Yes,” surprisingly, Johnny agrees with you. “We have a dance showcase to attend. It’s one of Y/N’s friends who’s dancing so we don’t want to miss it. How about I call a cab for the both of you?”

“That would be lovely, thank you!” Your mother beams at him as if he can do no wrong and that statement is further solidified as Johnny insists on paying for the meal.

“He’s a keeper,” your mother nudges you with a twinkle in her eyes as the two of you step outside to wait for the cab and you gape at her.

“We’re just friends!”

“Hold onto him, darling,” she leans forward and engulfs you in a hug, squeezing you tightly. “Invite him back to ours when you have a break.”

“There’s nothing to hold onto! And he has his own life, you know.” You send her a scowl as the embrace ends but she just pinches your cheek fondly.

“See you later, Y/N.” You father cuts you off by wrapping his arms around you just as a cab pulls up. “Please send those art photos to your mother, and then we can discuss which photos I send to Johnny.”

“Don’t you dare,” you point a finger at him as he laughs and gets into the car. 

Your mother waves from next to him, looking suspiciously misty-eyed. You wave back, ignoring your own watering eyes in favour of grinning at them as the cab drives off, leaving you standing outside the restaurant beside Johnny, who gently presses you into his side while you get control of your emotions. It’s cute for a moment until you come to your senses.

“What the _hell_ was that?” You jump away and glower at him. “Why are you dressed so weird?”

” _Weird?_ “ Johnny looks down at himself before scoffing at you in disbelief. "I look handsome! Besides, why can’t I meet your parents? I want to get to know all the people you’re close with.”

_You’re playing a dangerous game, Johnny Suh_ , you think as you stare at him in disbelief, trying to comprehend what he’s just said. He takes your silence as defeat and smiles victoriously before ushering you back into the restaurant, into the toilets.

“Get changed,” he presses his backpack into your arms. “There’s a spare change of clothes in there, just in case anyone recognises you back on campus.”

“Thanks,” you’re touched by his kindness, grasping hold of the bag while Johnny exits the bathrooms.

He’s packed your own, usual clothes. The only exception is a brown jacket with fur around the collar. It’s not yours judging by the way Johnny’s scent clings onto it and how it’s several sizes too big, but you wear it anyway.

When you come out and hand Johnny’s bag back to him you feel his gaze on you rather than see it, preferring to exit the restaurant with him hot on your heels. Donghyuck was performing in half an hour so you had no time to waste.

“You look cute,” he hums, coming up beside you and nudging your shoulder. 

“Keep it, if you want.”

“Shut up, don’t think I’m still not mad.” You reply, feigning annoyance. In truth, you try not to preen as you walk down the street, shoving your hands into the pockets and relishing in the jacket’s comfiness.

-

When you finally arrive at the hall where Donghyuck is performing it’s easy to spot your group of friends huddled near the front. Taeil’s hair sticks out like a fish out of water.

“Where have you guys been?” Taeyong pouts, “it’s almost starting.”

“Sorry, I had to see my parents,” you give him an apologetic look.

“Did you have a good time?” Taeil asks, coming to stand next to you with a small smile on his face. You nod, about to open your mouth before Yuta cuts you off.

“Daehyun, why is your jacket so big?” He looks you up and down, frowning. 

“Uh,” you freeze, “I… spilt coffee on mine, so Johnny lent me his.”

That seems so satisfy Yuta enough for him to turn away and you let out a silent sigh of relief, turning to Yoonoh and Johnny who had started a conversation.

“So who’s Donghyuck doing his showcase with?”

Yoonoh glances at the stage. “A guy called Mark, he’s super nice and the two go way back. I’m pretty sure you know him, he was in one of our classes last year.”

Their conversation is cut off as the lights darken, signalling the start of the performance. There are multiple cheers and applause from the audience which you join in on, clapping as loud as you can when Donghyuck and a cute looking, dark-haired boy appear on stage.

You knew Donghyuck could dance but you didn’t realise how amazing he was until he starts to perform. The music is technical and bass-heavy but the two boys keep up, contorting and popping their bodies to the beats while pulling off intense synchronisation. You’re star-struck for the whole performance, eyes flicking to and fro between the boys as they dance. They’re both so good that neither can hold your attention for very long and you feel like a child at the zoo, watching them in awe.

It’s over too soon for your liking but you compensate by cheering and clapping until your hands are raw. Johnny and Doyoung scream embarrassingly loud and you see Mark blush before Jungwoo gets both of them to shut up. Donghyuck waves, milking the praise before Mark manages to drag him off.

“That was incredible!” You hang off of Taeil’s shoulders, bouncing up and down excitedly, hardly aware of the two new performers who enter the stage. They’re good but not as eye-catching as Mark and Donghyuck, who join you ten minutes later.

You greet Donghyuck with a high-five that he gladly accepts, grinning from ear to ear. Mark, on the other hand, has the decency to look more humble, almost shy as you turn to him and begin to introduce yourself enthusiastically, still on a high from their performance.

“I’m Daehyun, a friend of Donghyuck, but _wow_ , you were just so-”

Johnny yanks you back mid-sentence to stand next to him.

“Sorry about this guy,” he offers in an apology to Mark, “he’s a scholarship student.”

“ _What’s that supposed to mean?_ ”

“Shall we get out of here?” Doyoung wears a false smile on his face, clearly wanting to avoid the fight brewing.

The rest of the afternoon is spent exploring the rest of the showcases with the boys (except Donghyuck, who goes to meet his parents) and getting to know Mark, much to Johnny’s displeasure. You had tried to sit in on the theatre department’s production of _Romeo and Juliet_ , but Yuta and Jungwoo wouldn’t stop mimicking the 'Romeo, oh Romeo’ part and so you and Taeyong had hauled them out before any further damage was done.

The math department had seemed fun, getting you to solve mathematical puzzles in order to win a prize. You asked Mark to be on a team with you and you were getting close to solving it, but Johnny had decided maths wasn’t for him by throwing his notebook onto the floor and storming out, leaving his partner, Yoonoh, to apologise profusely in his wake.

Now you were back at your dorm getting ready for the evening. Johnny had dressed simply in black jeans and a _Balenciaga_ shirt so you tried to copy his style, keeping it casual but classy.

“Do you wanna share a taxi?” You ask him, sorting out your hair in the mirror.

“No, I’ve got a car coming.”

“You can drive?”

He looks at you weirdly from his bed. “Yes, but why would I be driving if I’m drinking? My driver is going to be taking us to and from the club.”

“Your driver,” you snort, thinking back to how he’d dressed when he’d met your parents, “of course.”

-

Johnny keeps his hand on the small of your back as you enter the nightclub and you don’t push it off. It’s a foreign experience to you, with the lights and thumping music hitting creating one big disorientating haze. You’re used to nights out, but not like this.

“I see Yuta,” Johnny bends down to speak into your ear before guiding you along to where your friends are gathered in a booth. The only one who isn’t there is Taeyong, who arrives a few minutes later after detangling himself from a few intoxicated girls. Upon closer inspection, someone’s written their number on a post-it note and stuck it on his face.

“How long have you been here?” Jungwoo wrinkles his nose and leans across to rip it off him.

Taeyong grimaces. “About two minutes.”

You thought you would be nervous being out with the boys but as the night stretches on it’s that everything is going okay. Yuta orders some drinks immediately after Taeyong arrives but your glass is stolen away thanks to Johnny, who swears he just wants to get drunk faster.

However, Mark sneaks up on you when Donghyuck is too busy trying to get Yoonoh to slow down and Johnny is chatting with Taeil, pressing a shot in your hand and getting you to down it with him.

The sour liquid burns and you shake your head fiercely to get rid of the aftertaste. Mark, satisfied with your reaction, presses another into your hand and he’s so cute that you can’t say no.

As the night gets on you find your rhythm, accepting any drink Doyoung recommends you and pretending not to notice when a drunk Yuta pours shots into your glass, giggling as he does so.

You hadn’t intended to get so drunk but by now your judgement is slipping. Johnny tries to keep you under his wing and in the booth but you can tell his soberness is slipping by the way his head drops and a rosy tint appears on his cheeks. He’s finally defeated when Yuta takes your arm to lead you onto the dance floor, letting go of you without a fight. Donghyuck was in the toilet but he would be back soon, to save you from doing anything you’d regret.

But your thoughts of him quickly fade as you are engulfed by the dancing bodies, clinging to Yuta as he pulls you into an open spot. Your subconscious tries to tell you to _not_ dance like a girl and so you drunkenly copy Yuta’s moves, swaying from side to side while giggling happily.

Your efforts are paying off because a few minutes later some women wander over and join the fray. Yuta is happy to sidle up to them but your mind is filled with thoughts of Hyejin, so as a pretty young woman grins at you while trailing a finger over your shoulder you lean closer to her, ready to tell her your secret. Out of the corner of your eye to see Johnny struggling to get out the booth, eyes on you, and Donghyuck trying to fight his way through the sea of people.

“I'm _so_ sorry,” you shout to the girl, who’s tucked her hair behind her ear so she can hear you better. Her smile is dazzling and you just _know_ you’re doing the right thing.

“I’m actually _not_ a _-_ ”

“ _Daehyun_ ,” Jungwoo swings in between the two of you, putting his arms around you and ruffling your hair affectionately. “Where did you go? Everyone’s looking- oh,” he notices the girl and smiles down at her, “hi there.”

“Hi,” she grins, her interest leaving you. Jungwoo glances at you once again, who is smiling stupidly up at him, and gently twirls you around until you can no longer see the girl and you land in someone’s arms.

“You have a death wish,” Johnny’s voice is low in your ear but you can still hear it over the loud music and you let him steer you back to the table where a few others are nursing their beers. “You’re so stupid.”

“I’m not _stupid_ ,” you glare at him, stabbing his shoulder with your finger.

“Jungwoo just- just _cock-blocked me_!”

Johnny laughs at that, gazing down at you with something that looks suspiciously akin to endearment in his eyes. 

“You’re so cute.” He tries to pinch your cheeks but you scowl and shuffle away but that only makes him smile more.

You can’t escape him for the rest of the night. While the close call has done little to affect you Johnny seems to have sobered. When you want to dance he’s right beside you, swaying you gently and twirling you when he thinks no-one is looking. When you demand more drinks from the bartender he’s the one to foot the bill, swapping your drink for water when you’re not looking.

You finally stumble out of the club and into Johnny’s car in the early hours of the morning after saying your goodbyes and tearfully promising Mark you’ll do the maths challenge again with him next year. You blabber to the driver, telling him all about your adventures of the night while Johnny tries to keep a straight face, snickering into his hand and doing nothing to stop you embarrassing yourself, even as the car slows to a stop right in front of the campus.

By now you’ve sobered up enough to get out of the car and into your room without much of a fuss. Johnny staggers after you, smelling of beer and his overpowering cologne. Suddenly, whoever can get to the beds first becomes a fight and you’re trying to trip him up like you did with Donghyuck after the double date. 

It doesn’t work and so you latch onto his waist to stop you from falling over, leaving Johnny with no choice but to fall onto his bed with you under him. You close your eyes in anticipation, waiting for his body to hit yours, but it never comes.

When you reopen them Johnny is staring right back with hooded eyes, arms outstretched on either side of him so he doesn’t crush you. 

For a moment you just take each other in, unashamedly exploring each other’s features from close up. You avoid his eyes in favour of tracing the outline of his eyebrows before dropping your gaze to his lips. He too roams your face until he finds your lips, body dropping a little and getting so close that you can practically taste the alcohol on his breath. 

“What are you doing to me, you crazy girl,” he murmurs, voice tender as a hand reaches out to push your ruffled hair out of your face. 

For a moment you think he’s going to kiss you because the look he’s giving you, full of heat and determination. Johnny’s never been one to wear his emotions fully on his sleeve but seeing him from up close, his eyes are an open book. If you could then you would close the gap between the two of you but you’re scared to move, too caught up in his eyes.

In the end, he doesn’t, mouth slowly pulling up into an all-too-familiar grin and before you can react he flops on top of you, the added weight making you groan while he giggles from where he lies on top of you.

“Get off! I can’t breathe!” You whine, smacking his sides until he roles off of you, still trembling with silent laughter. You almost want to be angry or annoyed but the sound of his happiness has you giggling alongside him, shuffling closer so the two of you lay side by side and your head rests next to his shoulder, content to rest there.

-

The next day you wake up with no headache but the dryest mouth you’ve ever experienced. Your tongue is almost fuzzy and the sensation of enough to get you out of bed and shuffling into the kitchen to get a drink.

Johnny’s still asleep, face smushed against his pillow as you walk past him. You recall the events from last night and a fond smile makes its way onto your face until a small white envelope catches your attention from the corner of your eye.

There’s a letter at the front door which is strange, because not once have you ever seen a letter here. The only way it could have gotten in your room is if it had been slid under the door so you regard it curiously, picking it up and placing it on the counter.

It has your name written on it in bold letters which piques your interest, so as you take a refreshing gulp of water you open it up, rifling through the contents.

Your grip on the mug goes slack as you read the contents, hitting the counter with a sound loud enough to wake Johnny up, judging by the groan he lets out.

“Seriously, Y/N? Let me sleep,” he whines and you barely register him shuffling about in his bed as your eyes roam over the pictures.

Johnny must sense something’s not quite right because instead of going back to bed he pads over until you feel his presence right behind you. He peers over your shoulder, taking in the photos that show you shopping for a wig and your lunch with your parents. There are more of you, dressed up as a girl, showing your parents around campus. He swears softly, taking the photos into his hands so he can thumb through them.

Tears build in your eyes and it’s so early in the morning that you can’t make sense of _why_ you’re crying until it’s too late. You’re too tired to even fully panic, instead slumping back so you’re resting on Johnny’s chest, trying to figure out what’s going on.

All you’d wanted was a glass of water, and you voice that thought to Johnny.

“I know, babe,” he murmurs, and in any other moment, you would have commented on his deep morning voice of use of pet names.

He places the photos down, hands coming to gently rub up and down on your arms in a soothing motion. You feel him lean down until his nose is buried in your hair and feel him kiss your forehead, a silent gesture of reassurance.

“I’ll sort it out,” he promises.

-


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is posted late, I slept in! Also, I just wanted to remind you all that I'm far more active on tumblr and you can also send me requests! Hope everyone is doing okay x.

-

The oncoming summer heat sours the mood on campus. Everywhere you look, it's like there is a mirage in the distance and you find that surfaces are too hot to touch. Laptops are overheating while the air conditioning is on full blast every hour of the day, but even that doesn't stop students stripping off to shorts and loose-fitting tops in an effort to stave off the heat.

It has done nothing to help your mood. You are panicked, irritated and anxious and all the heat does is heighten those feelings. Johnny tries his best to help, but you can tell it eats away at him as well because he's been silent for the past day, not even bothering to throw jibes at you like usual. You are both in limbo, helplessly hanging while trying to race towards a solution.

Yesterday morning you had woken up in a pool of sweat, so hot it was as if you had been sleeping next to a fire. Upon clambering out of bed you had realised it wasn't just you, Johnny was sweating too, so you had reluctantly woken him up to try and find the source of the problem.

Once you'd both taken a shower and made a few phone calls, Johnny had concluded that your air conditioning that had broken. This didn't come as too much of a surprise considering it had been running nonstop for a few days now, but when you'd phoned reception, they had regretfully informed you that the earliest they could send someone out to fix it was tomorrow, meaning you could either find another room to sleep in or bear the heat.

Which brought to where you were now.

You're in a baggy shirt, shorts and sandals with a murderous expression on your face, tightening your grip on your overnight bag while Johnny stares you down from the front door, shirtless and with his arms folded.

"You're not leaving," he tells you, more of a statement than a command.

" _ Johnny _ ," you exhale with a whine, "Yuta and Jungwoo  _ offered  _ their room to me. I can't take another night sleeping in the heat and I don't want to see you shirtless all the time, so  _ please _ move out the way. I'm not going to 'perv' on them or whatever you think I'm going to do."

You weren't going to mention how distracting you found Johnny refusing to wear a shirt was. You didn't mind but you didn't want him  _ knowing _ you didn't care, so the only option was for you to leave the room. It helped that you had reached your limit with the heat too.

Johnny let's out a sigh and rolls his eyes. "Do you  _ really _ still think this is about me accusing you of being a pervert?"

"What?"

"Forget it," he shakes his head, closing the door and then heading over to his side of the room, where he brings out a backpack and starts shovelling items in while you watch curiously.

"I'm sorry, but there's not enough room for you to come too."

"We're not going to their room," Johnny snaps without looking at you, evidently irritated by the heat. "We're going to a hotel."

You debate fighting him on this but another wave of heat hits you, leaving you with no choice but to relent to Johnny's wishes in order to get out of the room faster. 

Though you're unfamiliar with any hotels in the city Johnny seems to know exactly where to go, calling up his driver (who you can't look at due to the shame of your night of drinking) and loading your bags in. It's a twenty-minute ride to get there but upon arriving you are greeted with an elegant-looking building that has your eyes widening. Johnny gets out with you right behind him, still taking in the beauty of the building.

The interior reminds you of when you saw your accommodation's reception for the first time. You've never stayed in a hotel so luxurious before so you follow after Johnny like a lost puppy, holding his bag for him as he makes his way to the reception desk and digs out his wallet. 

"Two rooms, please," he asks the lady absent-mindedly. You catch onto the hesitation displayed on her face immediately.

"Have you made a reservation, sir?"

"Nope."

"Ah, I'm afraid we operate on a twenty-four-hour booking policy," she sends you a pitying glance, obviously sympathising with the two of you. "This means all our normal rooms are booked up, but if you don't mind sharing a room then I'm sure I can find you one."

Johnny glances at you.

"It's fine," you wave your hand dismissively. "We'll share."

"Great," she resumes professionality and taps away on her keyboard while asking a few more questions that Johnny breezes through, eventually bringing up payment before handing Johnny a keycard and wishing you a pleasant stay.

"I wish you would let me pay my share." You grumble at him as the two of you step into the elevator. He huffs out a laugh.

"You can get dinner." 

Despite the room being lavish and modern, there's only one bed. You hyper-fixate on that fact while Johnny throws his bag onto one of the plush sofas and goes straight to the air conditioning unit, cranking it up all the way and letting out a sigh of relief as it hits him.

Were you supposed to share a bed?

You avoid answering that question and instead head to the bathroom to unpack your toiletries. When you come back out, Johnny is slumped on one of the couches and is browsing through what seems to be a menu. When the air conditioning finally hits you too you can't help but run your hands through your hair to dispel the sweat that has gathered there before joining Johnny in sitting down. 

"Come and have a look at this," he thrusts the menu towards you with a huge grin on his face. You take it from him cautiously, only to almost drop it when you see the prices.

"This is ridiculous," you mutter, frantically scanning it to find something you can afford and knowing Johnny, he'll probably order something fairly expensive just to see you get annoyed. "Can we not just go out to eat or something?"

"Didn't you say you would pay for room service?" It's good to hear Johnny's teasing after a few stressful days so you laugh along with him, coming to sit down and clapping him on the shoulder as you do so.

"How about you take one for the team tonight?"

"Don't push your luck," he snorts, grabbing the remote and switching on the television. Like you would expect of a fancy hotel it has lots of channels available, but the two of you settle on some old re-runs of  _ Friends. _

When you get hungry you finally cave in and ask Johnny what he wants to eat. Despite your initial hesitation upon seeing the price tag it's only fair that you cover the costs, seeing as Johnny does so much for you. 

So it comes as a surprise when he doesn't blow your budget. The two of you eat in silence after the food comes, attention on the screen.

However, after you've both finished eating and the episode nears its end, Johnny lowers the volume until it's nothing more than background noise, an obvious indication that he wants to talk.

"We should address the blackmail."

Even the word  _ blackmail  _ leaves a sour taste in your mouth, reminding you of something you've been trying to run away from these past few days. Although childish, you're hoping that if you ignore it then the problem will go away, but evidently, Johnny is not on the same page as you.

"Sure," you agree casually, trying not to sound too panicked as you turn to face him.

He sees right through you with sympathy in his eyes. It's uncharacteristic of him and you aren't sure if you like it or not, but you let him talk.

"I was thinking," he hesitates as if you're going to interrupt, "that we should tell the others."

"About the blackmail?"

"About the blackmail, yes. And, that you're a girl."

" _ What _ ?"

"Hey, no-  _ listen _ ," he catches you before you begin to freak out and you listen only because you've never seen Johnny so serious before. The only time you've come close is when he saved you from Youngmi. 

"I don't think you can do this on your own," he sighs, eyebrows knitting together. "And I know you like do just 'look out for yourself' or whatever, but I don't think that's possible here. Whoever is doing this to you has obviously got power and, not to rub it in or anything," he gestures to you, "but you're a scholarship student."

"But what if they hate me for it?" You ask softly, still trying to comprehend what he's said. For the past few days you've been running from the situation you're in, dodging Johnny's concerned looks and refusing to talk about it. But now you're faced with this you realise if your friends found out you have been lying to them from the released blackmail pictures- assuming that was what the person was planning to do -then they would hate you a lot more than if you'd just told them.

"They won't hate you, Y/N." Johnny squeezes your shoulder comfortingly. "No-one could hate you."

You scoff out a smile at that, although you're still deep in thought.

"Do you think Youngmi is the blackmailer?" You ask him, and he hums.

"I can't see who else it would be. We can't jump to conclusions, but yeah," his expression darkens, "I think it's her."

"Fine then," you concede. "We can tell them. I trust you."

His face softens.

"But I'm terrified."

"Typical" Johnny sighs out and rolls his eyes before he grabs your arm and pulls you against him. You yield to his strength and allow yourself to be pulled against his chest until you're staring up at the ceiling. It's the safest place to look, you decide. Maybe this way the blood will drain from your face.

"Here I am, telling you that I'm right by your side, giving you all these ideas, and all you can think of is how scared you are."

"Don't act like you're not scared too, Johnny."

"Me? Scared? I'm fine, it's just a shame you won't just be my little secret anymore, though."

"Johnny!" 

You giggle anyway, despite trying to sound scolding, pulling away to elbow him before flopping back against him, nestling into his side as he turns the volume up again and rests his head against your own.

-

He's on your mind as you try to fall asleep at night.

_ Babe,  _ he had called you. Not once, but twice now. Though you are busy caught up in the drama life has thrown your way, Johnny still takes up a portion of your mind. Every interaction with him is unconsciously documented away in your brain for you to ponder over at night. And every night you feel your fondness for him growing. Even if he still annoys you from time to time, you know his intentions are good.

When had the line blurred between friends and something more? You normally tend to abide by boundaries and when you had finally come to terms with how the scholarship was going to play out, you had sworn to keep yourself to yourself. Needless to say, dating was supposed to be off the table.

But Johnny is breaking every rule you have established and the worst part is you don't want him to stop.

But you can't confront him either. What if he laughed you off? What if he called any and every girl 'babe'? What if these touches and shared moments mean nothing to him? You're not exactly a typical girl, so what if he's just intrigued by you?

There was no point delving into it now, not when you were so busy.

_ Perhaps _ , you wonder, as you shift in bed,  _ it's the little things that count. _

You and Johnny are sharing a bed, no pillow down the middle at his request and him wearing a shirt at yours. You watch the rise and fall of his body as he breathes slowly, trying to mimic it in order to lull yourself to sleep.

One of his hands lies against the mattress, palm up and extended your way as if he's beckoning you to come closer.

Which you do, shifting towards him only a little until you can feel the warmth coming off him despite the cool air flowing around the room. You're not quite touching, but not exactly far away either.

_ The little things _ , you remind yourself, before pulling the covers tighter around you and letting your eyes drop closed.

-

When you wake up you are in a tangle of limbs. It takes you a second to gather your bearings and when you do you realise you are nestled into Johnny, with your back to his chest. Though you're warm and comfy you manage to summon up the willpower to gently shuffle away from him, detaching his hands from around you and rolling back to your side of the bed. The last thing you need is him waking up and making some teasing comment.

"Morning."

Johnny's voice is low and laced with sleep but it makes you jump. Had he been awake all this time? 

"Morning," you murmur back, deliberately facing away from him and scanning the dark hotel room that's still untainted by the morning light, tracing the shadowed paintings on the wall with your eyes. It seems too intimate to be facing him and you also don't trust yourself either. Besides, you had spent the night together out of necessity and there was no point in romanticising it.

It's obvious your heart thinks otherwise though, judging by the way your skin heats up, to the point where you have to throw the covers off and head to the bathroom to escape the feeling.

You don't stay in the hotel room long after that. After showering and getting dressed you head back to the bedroom to find Johnny finishing up a phone call.

"Our air conditioning is fixed," he waves the phone around, smiling at you.

You're surprised at how early the repairman must have gotten there since the two of you had woken up extra early to be able to get to your lectures. Nevertheless, the two of you pack up and check out, taking a car back to the dorms and rejoicing as you're greeted with cold air once again.

There's not much time for you to sit about because your lectures start in under half an hour, so you and Johnny dance around each other to get something to eat and pack your bags. When you finally bid him goodbye it feels strange, as if you're saying farewell to someone you've known all your life. You chalk it up to the fact you both spent the night off-campus. Together.

You try not to dwell on that.

The lectures pass along slowly, giving your nerves plenty of time to eat away at you. While heading back to the campus Johnny had told you to ask the others to come to your dorm after their lectures under the guise of a surprise so that you could tell them all at once, but this means you have to go the whole day pretending everything is normal. The worst part is when Doyoung plagues you to tell him what's wrong, clearly sensing something is wrong.

When the end of the day comes you head back to the dorm quickly and meet Johnny there. He's back to his usual self, showing no signs of worry as he lounges on his bed.

"You doing okay?" He glances at you as you place your bag under your desk and get yourself something to eat, trying to fight off the nerves.

"Just anxious," you reply.

"Don't be," he sends you a smile before coming to stand by you, looking to steal some of your food, "you've got me."

-

It's a tight fit to get everyone inside your dorm, but you manage. 

Everyone's eyes are on you as if you're presenting a slideshow. Johnny is by your side on the bed, a silent figure of reassurance and you try to focus only on him as you take a deep breath and open your mouth. 

He's there. He's got your back. You can do this.

"I have something to tell you all," you begin, debating whether to look into their eyes as if you were giving a speech or just fixate on one point, like the wall or something. The awkwardness is crippling you but you force yourself to continue. If anything goes wrong Johnny can take over, but you owe it to your friends to explain everything to them. You have to trust them, too.

"This is probably going to be hard for you to hear, and you have every right to hate me after this, but-"

"You're a girl." Jungwoo cuts you off casually.

You stare at him for a few moments, horrified, before the room explodes into noise.

"What?"

"I  _ knew  _ it!"

"No, you're not."

In the midst of the chaos, Yuta reaches over from where he's sitting on the other side of Johnny and tugs at your hair. You swat him away with a scowl, although he seems satisfied that you're not wearing a wig.

"What do you mean you're not a guy, Daehyun?" Taeyong breaks through the confusion and asks you directly, hurt bleeding through in his voice. A wave of guilt washes over you as you try to break it to him as gently as possible.

"My name's Y/N. L/N Y/N, actually," you correct him before spilling everything. Everything you've told Johnny and Donghyuck, sparing no details.

"So Johnny knows?" Doyoung is the first to break the silence after you finish explaining. You nod. 

Donghyuck leans forward. "I knew too. I just wanna know how  _ Jungwoo _ found out."

"Yeah, what the hell was that?" Johnny looks at the boy, who smiles sheepishly.

"I mean, it was pretty obvious. When I first met Y/N I noticed she didn't have any facial hair or an Adam's apple, but I didn't know if she was transgender or something so I decided to just keep quiet." He shrugs.

"Wait-" Johnny butts in, "so when I asked you where Daehyun was during the showcase- when she was dressed up as a girl -and you told me where she was headed..."

" _ That's  _ how you found me?"

"I knew it was her," Jungwoo confirms happily. "And then at the club when she was dancing with those girls."

"You were helping me?" You point at him in shock and he smiles, nodding.

"I've tried to look out for you when I can, but I didn't know you were just hiding your identity for a scholarship."

"That's actually kinda cool," Yoonoh mutters.

"Are you guys upset?" You ask hesitantly, although as you look around the room, none of them seem to be particularly annoyed.

"Not really," Taeil sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, it's weird,  _ all  _ of this is weird, but as Yoonoh said, it's cool."

"I wouldn't have known," Mark pipes up.

"See?" Johnny nudges you, "I told you it'd be fine."

You have to agree with him while he takes over the conversation, launching into possible suspects with Youngmi at the forefront.

It's over. It's okay.

You muse what it would be like if Johnny weren't here, nor your friends, and you were in this situation alone. Would you be able to handle it?

You didn't want to think about it.

-


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen, here she is! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, especially since there are only 3 chapters after this until the series is officially over :(

-

The discussion about what to do with your blackmailer carries on into the evening. Eventually, Taeil takes action, cracking his knuckles and looking through the incriminating photos which still lie on the kitchen counter.

“I can definitely look into Youngmi, if you want me to,” he offers. “If I take these pictures with me when I go then I can make some calls and find out how they came to be, as well as see if she obtained these illegally or not. That’ll give us one foot to stand on.”

“That would be great,” you send Taeil a smile as he gathers up the photos. “Thanks, Taeil.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waves a hand dismissively.

You couldn’t have asked for tonight to have gone any better. As it comes to an end and your friends slowly trickle out of your apartment, you finally realise nothing has changed between you and them. Yuta and Jungwoo still pull you in for a hug before they leave and Taeyong ruffles your hair, telling you to stay safe. Even Mark, who you haven’t known for very long, gives you an awkward high-five.

“You made a really cool dude, Y/N,” Yoonoh gives you a thumbs-up as he puts on his jacket, “but you’re a cute girl too.”

It’s a relief to know you’re not doing this alone anymore, that you don’t have to keep up your false life around your friends. You hardly notice you’re crying with relief until the tears roll down your cheeks and by then, Johnny is already by your side.

“Why are you crying?” He asks, laughing softly.

“I don’t know,” you wipe your eyes hastily, laughing with him. “It must be stress.”

“Of course you’re stressed after getting support from your friends,” he rolls his eyes fondly before rummaging around in his wardrobe, bringing out the same jacket he had given you at the showcase event and throwing it at you.

“Put this on, we’re going out.”

“Are we?” Despite your questioning, you oblige his request, slipping on the comfy fabric and gathering your things before following him out the door.

Although it’s getting late, the city is alive with life, people flooding the streets and bright lights illuminating the roads. The diverse sights and sounds occupy you as you trail closely behind Johnny, becoming so invested in them that you don’t realise where you’re going until you enter a familiar building.

It’s a cinema complex, the same one you had gone to with Donghyuck, Soyeon and Hyejin.

“Are we watching a movie?” You ask Johnny curiously, watching as tilts his head up to see what films are on.

“Yeah, I figured if you’re stressed out or whatever then you should probably just relax. Pick a movie.”

“Thank you.” You smile up at him, touched by the gesture. In an effort to return his kindness you leave his behind as you hurry to go and pay, though he quickly catches on to what you’re doing.

The employee looks at the two of you fondly as you hold Johnny’s credit card hostage while paying with your own, handing him his popcorn triumphantly before taking the tickets and heading to the theatre room.

“You better have picked a good movie,” he threatens once you take your seats. There are only five minutes until the film starts yet the cinema is almost empty, probably due to the fact it is a late evening showing. Johnny must notice this too, because he slinks down in his seat and rests his feet on the seat below him, much to your displeasure.

“I have, and if you talk throughout it I’ll get up and leave,” you poke your tongue out at him before stealing some of his popcorn. He tries to catch your hand but you’re too fast, shoving it into your mouth and grinning widely as you chew. He rolls his eyes.

“Why do I bother taking you anywhere?”

_Because you love me_ , you want to tease back, but the words get caught on your tongue. It’s too personal to say and too close to home, so instead of replying you get comfy in your seat and stare at the screen, waiting for the movie to begin. The last thing you wanted to do was spoil the evening.

You’ve chosen some comedy-action blockbuster that had looked good in the foyer. Although Johnny seems to be engaged right from the start, your mind can’t help but wander off as the first explosion lights up across the screen.

You had done the exact same thing with Hyejin, paying for her food and movie ticket. Did that make this was a date, then?

The sound of gunfire ricochets across the room, moving from one speaker to another and in the back of your mind you muse about how early the action has started in this movie. Johnny brings some popcorn to his lips, eyes glued to the screen.

This _couldn’t_ be a date. Johnny was doing what any friend would do: helping you to relax. It was better to play it safe and be casual rather than get your hopes up.

“Do you want some popcorn?”

You jump at the sound of Johnny’s voice so close to your ear.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, finally concentrating on the screen and reaching over to grab some from the bag. However, instead of picking up the popcorn, you find yourself tentatively touching skin instead.

It makes you jump for a second before something presses against your palm firmly, interlocking your fingers before cradling them on a lap.

It’s a hand. _His_ hand.

When you dare to look over at Johnny, he’s watching your facial expressions carefully, popcorn and movie forgotten.

“Is this okay?” He asks carefully and all you can do is nod, glad the theatre is dark so he can’t see the heat rising to your cheeks.

He must see your smile though, because he grins and uses his other hand to finally give you some popcorn, drawing away when you try to grab it and insisting on feeding you himself. Your skin feels hot all over and you’re sure your palm is sweating but you play it off by trying to invest in the movie. Johnny seems unaffected, settling back into his seat and picking up from where he’d left off while you summon every breathing technique known to man in a bid to calm yourself down.

By the end of the movie, the two of you are still holding hands, although you free your own as you stand up under the guise of adjusting your jacket. Johnny seems unfazed, bringing his now-empty popcorn bag out of the theatre and throwing it away while ranting about the movie.

“How could they just end it like that? There _has_ to be a sequel, right?”

“Yeah,” you hum noncommittally. Was he seriously not going to talk about what had just happened?

“Anways,” he glosses over your lack of enthusiasm as you exit the cinema, “I was thinking we could go and get something to eat?”

“Sure,” you huddle into your (Johnny’s) jacket for warmth and once again follow him as he leads the way. 

So now he was suggesting food like you had done on with Hyejin, so this _was_ a date, right?

He sticks out his left hand behind him to where you walking slightly behind him without looking at you, making grabby hands.

“Hold my hand again,” he commands.

It’s easier when he’s not looking at you. A huge smile takes over your face and you tuck your chin into the collar of your jacket to hide it, quickening your stride and reaching out until your hand clasps around his. You don’t stop there, finally giving in to your selfish desires and so close next to him that you’re practically leaning on his arm as you walk. He doesn’t comment on it and neither do you.

Eventually, you come to a small restaurant and after scouring the menu, Johnny drags you, who is still hanging off his arm, inside.

Dinner is quick since there aren’t many customers and although you had been worried things between you and Johnny may become awkward pretty quickly, he effortlessly keeps the conversation going by grilling you about your opinions on the movie and arguing with you every step of the way. Once you finish and fight to pay the bill (Johnny ultimately wins) the two of you get some dessert to-go, as Johnny is far too impatient to sit still any longer. He’s practically itching to leave and seems to only relax once the cool air hits the two of you.

You’re ninety-nine per cent sure it’s a date by now, but you’re way too nervous to say anything.

“This is the quieter part of the city,” Johnny explains as you walk along, dessert bags in his right hand and yours in the other. This time he didn’t even have to ask; you’d latched onto him as soon as the two of you had left the shop.

“There’s a park up ahead where we can eat these, if that’s okay with you?”

“Fine by me,” you hum. By now there is no-one about since you’ve passed the heart of the city, meaning the park is a ghost town by the time you arrive. Despite the fact there are many benches free Johnny chooses to flop on the ground, digging straight into the bags and opening up your desserts. A strawberry cheesecake for you and a coffee tiramisu for him.

“What’re you doing?” You ask as you settle down beside him, watching as he divides both cakes into two. “I don’t want that disgusting tiramisu.”

“It’s not disgusting,” he sneers at you playfully, taking a big chunk of your cheesecake from you out of spite. “You just don’t have good tastebuds.”

“Remind me: why I’m here again?” You deposit his tiramisu back onto his makeshift plate and start eating your measly portion of cheesecake. “I mean, why do you like eating outside so much anyway?”

He shrugs, licking his plastic fork clean. “I dunno. When I’m not eating at the dorms I’m either eating shitty takeout or having to sit through business dinners with my family, which _suck_ , by the way. And besides, I like being outside with you because it’s just us two, y'know?”

You smile softly. “Yeah, I know.”

Then a thought pops into your head that causes you to swallow thickly. Tonight, you and Johnny have been toeing the line between friends and something more. The uncertainty gnaws at you, practically begging for confrontation. Although you desperately want to continue how you are now, you know it can’t go on like this forever.

If there’s any time to talk, it’s now.

“You’re always buying dinners for me now,” you muse softly, playing with your cheesecake. “Always takeout, though.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Johnny finishes off his dessert and makes puppy-eyes at yours, so you push it towards him, “I want to take you out to fancy dinners too.”

He’s far too nonchalant for your liking and you can only stare at him. 

“What?”

“If you ever let me,” he carries on, “because I know sometimes fancy restaurants can throw people off. I don’t mind eating fast food with you- I enjoy it, honestly, but I want you to see me when I’m all dressed up too. I want you to see me when I use all the manners that I was taught as a kid, like pulling out your chair for you and paying for your meals. I want that, too”

“Johnny…” you trail off, speechless. In a rare display of shyness, he won’t look at you, stabbing his plastic fork into the polystyrene instead. Just as you go to talk, he finds his voice and cuts you off again.

“I’ve never dealt with a girl like you before. I don’t know if it’s love or if it’s just because we share a room together, but I want to be around you, look after you, and I want you to do the same with me.”

Your heart beats faster in your chest.

“At one point I decided being your friend just wasn’t enough, and now I’ve got that in my head I can’t stop thinking about it. So I want more, if you’ll let me.”

He looks in your eyes and you’re shocked by the honesty in them and the light red that dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears. It makes him look boyish, younger, and so vulnerable you can’t help but reply in the most honest way possible.

“I can’t exactly say I don’t like you either. At the start you were a little bit annoying-” he snorts at that, “-but you were the type of guy to make my heart flutter. I thought maybe, _maybe_ it would fade over time, but you’re just so… _dependable_. I want to be close to you, I want you to annoy me and take me places, even if it’s some fancy restaurant, but,” you take a breath, “is now really the right time?

"If we do this, like _seriously_ become a couple, then we have to put a label on it. And that’s the hard part. I’m still a guy to everyone else and although that’s not the main issue, it’s just I’ve spent so much time _hiding_. I’ve been trying to hard to secure a future for myself that I think, maybe, I’ve ignored everything else that’s important, like having friends, for one. If we do this, I want to do it when I’m completely, wholely myself. When I don’t have to pretend anymore.”

You’re almost breathless at the end of your speech and still trying to figure out if you’ve made any sense or not when Johnny leans over and kisses you.

Your first thought is that he tastes likes coffee. Then, you lose yourself.

His lips are warm against yours and it’s almost a fight for you to stay upright given how quickly he’d sprung upon you. You give as good as you get though, kissing him tenderly and reaching to take his face in your hands while his come to your waist to steady you. The desserts lay forgotten on the floor and time runs away from you. Blanketed in silence and darkness, you could have been kissing for hours. You only stop when you realise you need to _breathe_ and so you have no choice but to break away.

You’re both panting gently, staring at each other in a new light while trying to fight your smiles.

You break first, laughing softly.

“Remember how I just said I kind of wanted to wait until I was in a more stable position to get into a relationship? Like, after the blackmail?”

There’s a determined look in Johnny’s eyes as he nods.

“Blackmail,” he repeats firmly. “Right. Got it. Just one second-”

Then he kisses you again, hasty but passionate, conveying his desperation in a way that’s so _Johnny_ that it has you giggling when he finally lets you go.

“So _after_ we get that sorted,” he carries on like nothing has happened, “then we can do that again?”

You nod, still grinning widely. “We can do that as many times as you want.”

His smirk is nothing short of wicked.

-

On the way back home Johnny won’t stop swinging your intertwined hands. There’s a spring in his step that wasn’t there before and you feel oddly proud to have put it there.

“So, does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?” He asks. “Or boyfriend?”

“I don’t care,” you laugh, “just don’t be too obvious on campus while Youngmi still has dirt on me.”

“Deal,” he nods and you smile, leaning your head on him as you walk home in content silence.

But as you arrive home, you realise that nothing good can last forever.

It’s a shame you realise this when Johnny is in the shower though.

There are three sharp knocks at the door while you are in the middle of getting ready for bed. When you open it, Youngmi stands there, dressed impeccably and tapping her foot against the floor as if she’s been waiting for hours, arms folded and expression neutral.

She doesn’t even deign you with a response, instead beckoning you to come outside. You oblige her request while focusing on calming your bubbling anger, resisting the urge to take Yuta’s earlier advice and just punch her.

“Why did you take those photos?” You cut to the chase as soon as you’re outside the dorm and enjoy the look of surprise that briefly flashes across her face. For once, it’s nice to be the one with the power, if only for a brief moment.

“It doesn’t matter why,” she retaliates, her mask back in place, “I’ve come to tell you to keep quiet for now. Tomorrow, you’ll meet me, _alone_ , or I’ll release those pictures. Do you understand?”

You nod silently, not trusting your voice. From inside you can hear the shower stop.

“I have your number so just wait for the text.” She looks you up and down before turning away, leaving you with more questions than answers. “Don’t be late.”

Then she’s gone, and you try not to turn tail and sprint back in as you go inside.

Despite her emphasis on ‘alone’ the first thing you do is tell Johnny, pouncing on him just as he comes out of the bathroom, explaining everything that has just happened.

“Go along with it for now,” he advises you, bringing up a towel to dry his hair after listening to your mini freak-out. “I’ll let the others know and we’ll figure something out. I know it’s hard, but don’t worry about it.”

“That’s easier said than done,” you sigh before slipping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and splash some water on your face. You really have to stop letting Youngmi get to you.

After that you clamber straight into your bed, only stopping when you hear a cough from across the room.

Looking up you see Johnny lying down with his phone and then focus on the way he’s holding the covers up, a clear invitation for you to join him in his own bed.

You stare at him.

“This is our day one, Johnny, I’m not sleeping in the same bed as you.”

“Wait, _seriously_?” He whines, eyes widening. “You’re seriously keeping count?”

“Yes,” you grin at his petulant tone before disappearing under the covers and curling into a ball, anticipation rising in your gut. You _know_ your boyfriend, and soon enough, you hear him sigh and get out of bed, squeezing your eyes closed as you hear footsteps approach.

It’s quiet for a moment, then all of a sudden you and your little cocoon are lifted up into the air. You squeal childishly, legs kicking madly before you’re dumped back down on a soft mattress. Upon poking your head out and shaking your messed up hair from your eyes you see you’re now in Johnny’s bed, with him clambering back in next to you.

Though a part of you wants to stick to your morals you can’t help but wrap your cocoon around your head and flop down next to him. The bed is a lot smaller than the one in the hotel so you’re practically lying on his chest. Johnny takes it upon himself to reposition you so your back is against him and his arms are around you, gently nosing his head into the back of your cocoon.

“Mark this day in your calendar, Johnny,” you whisper, wriggling one arm out of your cocoon to hit the lights. “It’s our day one.”

“Go to sleep, idiot.”

His hand moves about so he can boop you on the nose, but it’s not hard to hear the smile in his voice.

-


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was such a pain to write oh my god! But after this there’s only two more left: the last chapter and the epilogue. We’re almost there. Thank you all SO MUCH for the support.

-

Despite plenty of reassurance from Johnny, you’re relieved when Jungwoo and Yuta greet you happily the next day, the same as always. There’s no awkwardness as you slip into your chair and start unpacking your books.

“How are you doing?” Jungwoo leans over Yuta to check on you, much to the latter’s annoyance.

“Youngmi came by last night,” you fill them in on what’s happening even though you know that if Youngmi finds out, she won’t be happy, “but Johnny said to just wait it out while he lets you guys know.”

“That seems wise,” Yuta nods, “if you think about it, it’s like we’re playing a game of chess. We’re the players and you’re the chess piece, Y/N.”

Donghyuck glares at him. “It’s _Daehyun_ , idiot.”

“My bad,” he raises his hands in surrender and sends an apologetic glance your way. “But seriously, we need to take this one step at a time. If we make Youngmi think you’re complying with her wishes it makes it much easier for us to work behind the scenes. We’ll definitely find a way out of this.”

“I hope so,” you reply wistfully.

As she had promised, Youngmi texts you halfway through the lecture giving only a time and a place. Despite Yuta’s words, you’re on edge, shifting in your seat and constantly checking and re-checking the time. The sooner you get this over with, the better.

To get to her location you need to travel off-campus, which means sacrificing your lunch period to get there. You decide to slip away but Yoonoh catches you as you make your way to the campus entrance.

“I’d feel a lot safer if you had someone with you, even if I was just watching from afar,” he follows you down the hall, hoping to get you to change your mind on going alone.

“If I go with someone then she’ll know I’ve got help,” you reply, “I’ll text you if anything goes wrong, just trust me.”

And so Yoonoh backed off, albeit reluctantly. Now, you were in a small cafe that gave off French vibes. Everything is delicate, from the gentle acoustic music floating around the room to the petite cakes being served at the counter that look far too pretty to eat. Any other time you would have liked to try them, but you were far too nervous to eat anything now.

You wish you were here with Johnny. Somehow, he always knew how to make everything better, even if it was only for a little while.

But he couldn’t help you here. A part of you was ashamed that you relied on him so heavily to help you out, but you _know_ he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t want to. This wasn’t just about you anymore and the sooner you realised that the better.

True to its Parisian nature, when the door opens a little bell rings shrilly, letting you know someone has entered.

You are sitting in a small booth in the farthest corner but Youngmi finds you immediately. Though she looks as if she’s ready to head straight over to you she goes to the counter and exchanges a few words with the server, who nods eagerly. When she finally sits down across from you, a waitress has appeared with a steaming cup of coffee for her which is placed down carefully on the table.

_Black, like her heart_ , you think to yourself, watching the heat rise from the dark liquid.

She takes a moment to stir a teaspoon around in it, gently clinking the spoon against the side before she begins to talk.

“I’m glad you could make it.”

Her voice tells you she thinks quite the opposite but you refrain from commenting. It’s not hard to bite your tongue when you’re being cautious. After all, she’s the one asking the questions today and the last thing you want to do is trip up and fall into a trap.

You’re sure that from an outsider’s perspective, she must look harmless. Up close she looks nothing short of angelic, with her French manicure and immaculate table manners. But from up close you can see it in her eyes: an animalistic gleam that shows you she’s barely keeping herself together, probably desperate to grab you and find out every little last detail on your life.

You look away from her and glance out the window, trying to use the calming music to ground you.

“Why did you do it?” She presses. “Why did you pretend to be a boy? Tell me everything.”

You have no choice but to oblige.

Youngmi is ruthless with her interrogation and leaves no stone unturned, just like you’d suspected. She asks if your parents are aware and who else knows (you only mention Donghyuck and Johnny, since they were in the photography). With every answer, you feel yourself becoming smaller and smaller. It’s as if she’s chipping away at your shield, exposing your vulnerabilities for her pleasure.

By the end of her questioning, you realise there’s no point in trying to explain or defend yourself because a girl like her could never understand.

Her face is one of disgust, showcasing her lack of empathy for your situation. She seems to almost look down on you and at that realisation, you’re unable to hold your feelings in any longer.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask her quietly. “Why are you making me feel so ashamed of trying to follow my dream?”

She scoffs. “Is that what you think you’re doing? Seriously? You just don’t know your place, do you? _This school isn’t meant for you._ What, you didn’t get in the first time so you thought you’d try your luck again, only this time with _lies_? Who are you to cheat the system?”

You flinch because you know that in some way, she’s right. You _had_ failed to get in, but who was she to judge you? Although you hardly knew Youngmi, you were almost certain she had never experienced true hardship, true struggle. The fact she sits there, thinking she had the right to lecture you causes anger to bubble up inside you, but she’s not done yet.

“So what I want to know,” she grins, looking smug in a way that has your skin itching with irritation, “is what you can do for me. Why shouldn’t I just send off those photos to the board of directors and tell them everything you’ve just told me. They’ll believe me, after all. They’ve always favoured the student with a bit more…” she looks you up and down, “ _money_.”

You glare at her heatedly, about to curse her out when a shadow falls over the two of you. Upon looking up you see it’s Johnny, who doesn’t look impressed.

Although he’s dressed casually in just a hoodie and jeans there is a menacing aura that surrounds him, something that you notice makes Youngmi recoil slightly. You take satisfaction in that, lips pulling up into a grim smile.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he stares down at her while ignoring you, although you can tell he is unimpressed, “but I need to steal Y/N away.”

“I don’t think so,” Youngmi finds her voice and narrows her eyes at him.

It’s as if an unstoppable force has met an immovable object, so to solve the problem you don’t hesitate to get up and stand by Johnny’s side. Youngmi’s eyes slide to yours and narrow once she sees the choice you’ve made, but she makes no move to address you.

“Worry about your own skeletons, Youngmi,” Johnny glares down at her, his hand finding your own before turning on his heel and leading you outside.

Once the fresh air hits you and the cafe gets further away you release a breath, leaning into Johnny’s side as you carry on walking.

“I hate her.”

“So do I,” Johnny mutters darkly, squeezing your hand. “What did she say to you?”

“Well, I told her everything and she just made fun of me for a bit before asking what I could do for her in order for her to keep her mouth shut. By the way, what do you mean about her ‘own skeletons’?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Johnny advises you, tugging you closer as you walk down the street. “For now, let’s just go out somewhere.”

You raise your head to look at him. “Didn’t I say I wanted to wait until this all blows over?”

“You _did_ …” he trails off, “but when do I listen?”

-

The first thing you notice when you get back to the dorm is the garment bag that is draped on your bed.

“What’s this?” You ask, going towards it and tracing a hand over the bag before unzipping it.

Inside is a beautiful dark blue jumpsuit. The material is soft to touch and upon closer inspection, the logo at the waist is undeniably familiar.

“Please don’t tell me you bought me _Gucci_ ,” you breathe out.

Johnny’s silent for a moment. “I didn’t buy you Gucci?”

You’re not listening to him, still staring at the piece of clothing in awe, gently tracing the fabric lightly, as if you’re afraid of staining it. Unbeknownst to you, Johnny comes closer, watching your reaction carefully.

“There’s shoes and a bag to go with it as well, I got your sizes from some clothes in your wardrobe. And _before_ you get mad, you did say you wouldn’t mind if I took you to a fancy restaurant one day, so…”

You give him a look. “Johnny, _no_.”

“But yes,” he grins, evidently relieved you haven’t blown up on him. “I talked to the lady who sends me my outfits and she said this will go well with your short hair, and it’s not too flashy. And I guess if you really don’t want to keep it then I can return it or something.”

“This is probably worth more than my tuition!” You cry, throwing a half-hearted punch at his chest. He catches your hand and pulls you close, kissing your forehead in lieu of an apology.

“Can’t you just let me treat you?” He murmurs. “We’re all stressed, so can we forget everything for one night?”

“This isn’t fair,” you reply softly, cheek pressed against his chest. “You do so much for me and I can’t pay you back.”

“You don’t have to,” he urges. “I like your company and I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want to. If you really hate the thought of it that much then just think of it as a way of you saying 'thank you’ for all the help I’ve given you.”

You sigh. “When are we leaving?”

You can practically _hear_ the grin in his voice. “Half seven tonight.”

-

The restaurant Johnny is taking you to is quite far away from the campus but the journey is worth it. Not only because the restaurant is breathtakingly pretty, but also because you get to see Johnny in a suit, and he does not disappoint.

The elevator that takes you up to the restaurant is full of mirrors, giving you the perfect chance to admire him. It’s as if he’s stepped straight off the runway with his black suit and bowtie. But in the same way you’re appreciating him, he shamelessly stares back at you through the mirror, eyes roaming over every part of your body. 

You can’t lie: you look _good_. You’re probably wearing the most expensive piece of clothing in your whole life and that’s not counting the shoes and accessories.

After the lift springs open you’re greeted with the restaurant itself. Your eyes first stray to the elegant chandelier that dominates the ceiling and then to the huge windows that span across the walls, giving unlimited access to the world below. The place itself isn’t too busy and as soon as you step out a waiter is by your side.

No words are exchanged as he takes in Johnny’s face and immediately sees the two of you to your seats. Evidently, Johnny has either made a reservation or he comes here often.

Johnny arrives at the table first and pulls out a chair for you, before taking his own seat with a smile. You’re too busy looking out the windows as the waiter lists off the wine specialities, trying to see if you can see the campus from where you are. Once you’re satisfied you turn back to your menu and tentatively pick it up before scanning through. While Johnny seems to be relaxed browsing through his, you have no idea what to do.

“We’ve made a mistake,” you say as soon as you see the menu. “I have no idea what any of this is.”

“Relax,” Johnny chuckles, “just think of it as a fancy McDonalds or something. Do you want wine, or water, or something else?”

“A _fancy_ McDo- I’ll just have a water, thanks.” You scoff in disbelief. “I don’t trust myself not to make a fool of myself when drunk.”

“Suit yourself,” he grins at you. “Now all you’ve gotta do is get rid of all the fancy words and find out what you’re _actually_ going to be eating…”

Though you try your best to listen to him you very quickly space out, staring at the words on the page as if they’re a foreign language. This place is way out of your comfort zone but Johnny is at ease here, flaunting his suit like it’s his second skin and scanning through the encrypted menu like he speaks the language.

Is this what he’s normally like if he isn’t studying? It’s evident Johnny fits in here and you wonder if he’s ever come here before for a business meeting with his family. He had mentioned that he usually did that the other day.

Insecurity bites at you and your eyes find the words on the menu and focus on them, hard. You couldn’t be thinking like that. To judge Johnny just on his economical status was just the same as Youngmi judging you earlier.

“Are you ready to order?” The waiter appears from out of nowhere and hovers expectantly. Johnny glances to you.

“I’ll just have the soup to start with and the steak,” he folds up his menu and the waiter takes it from him. “Medium rare, please.”

“I’ll have the same,” you decide quickly, mimicking his actions. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” the waiter bows and dips away, but not before filling up your water and serving Johnny some exotic red wine.

“Try it,” Johnny eggs you on, passing over his glass. You oblige but gag as soon as the sour liquid reaches your tastebuds.

Despite the unsavoury taste, you feel your worries disappear as Johnny laughs at you from across the table, eyes crinkling at the sides as he beckons for his glass back.

He’s still Johnny Suh, the annoying guy who happens to be your roommate and now boyfriend. If you asked to leave and get a takeaway, he’d complain but would take you there in a heartbeat. He pretends not to listen to you but he’s more attentive than you give him credit for. He’s always got you back, even when you think you’re just fine on your own.

“It can’t be that bad,” he rolls his eyes although the fond smile still remains. “Do you want to take a look at your wine menu and decide on something you like the sound of?”

_I love you_ , you want to say to him, just because there’s nothing else you can say that can surmise how much you appreciate and adore him, even though you haven’t exactly known him for the longest time.

It surprises you how quickly those words come to mind, scares you even, so you push them down and store them away. The last thing you want to do is blurt something out based on your emotions and potentially ruin the mood of the evening. Especially when Johnny looks so happy.

“Choose for me,” you say instead, handing your menu over to him and smiling as he lights up and takes charge, immediately filling you in on what is good and what you won’t like.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see more of my work and find out where I got the inspiration for the date outfits from, head over to my tumblr @lucaswithnoshirt x


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue!

-

The next few days are spent in anticipation of what’s to come. It’s like you’re navigating No Man’s Land. Youngmi is staying quiet on her end while your side is scrambling to get resources.

Some days you spend your lunch hours with Taeil, Doyoung and Mark while they tap away at their laptops and try to find connections. Other days you meet up with Taeyong and Johnny in the library to study, although it’s mostly Taeyong complaining about how Johnny can’t keep his hands off you.

It’s easy for you to feel useless as you watch your friends do all the work for you. After all, they are the ones with the power and the contacts. Without them, you would have no hope. However, thanks to their endless reassurance there is a newfound voice in your head that tells you they’re here to help, that this is what friends do.

“Well,” Taeil finds you in the library while you’re studying independently, Yoonoh in tow as he slaps some folders down onto the table. “We can definitely, legally confirm that Youngmi is behind this. I’ve got it all on record, CCTV as well as a few witnesses, saying they saw someone taking photos of you. Yoonoh did some digging and they’re affiliated with Youngmi’s father’s company. So either her father is fine with this, or she’s abusing his resources.”

“Thank you so much, guys,” you tell them sincerely.

“Don’t mention it,” Taeil’s cheeks turn the same colour as his hair while Yoonoh snickers at the older boy. “Just take this folder back to your room. I’ve made a copy for safekeeping but I think it’s best if you take care of it.”

-

“How’s it hanging?”

You’re surprised to see Soyeon walking beside you as you head back to your dorm. You haven’t seen her since the date even though you share a class so you try not to let your surprise show.

“Uh, good,” you reply unsurely. “How are you?”

“Not too bad,” she grins back at you. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure.”

“It’s just-” her smile falters as she glances at you, then looks away, “you didn’t ever really like Hyejin, did you?”

You almost choke on the air in surprise. Why was she asking that now?

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve had my suspicions ever since Johnny Suh came in and swept her off her feet. From what I’ve heard he’s never dated anyone on campus so I couldn’t help but wonder.”

“Really,” that piques your interest but the girl rolls her eyes and elbows you. “Oh- I mean yeah. Donghyuck sort of roped me into it but I promise I never intended to hurt Hyejin.”

“It’s fine,” she waves it off, “I’m just curious for my own good. Speaking of which,” she points ahead and your eyes follow to where you can see Donghyuck in the distance, accompanied by Jungwoo. The latter catches sight of you and waves. “I think you’re wanted elsewhere.”

“Looks like I am,” the corners of your mouth lift as Johnny lifts a hand and beckons for you. “It was nice to see you Soyeon, tell Hyejin I said hello.”

“I will,” she gives you a mini-salute and breaks away. “Just tell Donghyuck to text me back!”

Once you finally meet up with the boys you take them back to your room. Normally Johnny would be there but he’s in a lecture, so you turn a blind eye as Donghyuck sprawls out on his bed.

When Johnny eventually does come home the three of you are huddled up on your bed, much to his displeasure, and you’re deeply invested in your laptop while Jungwoo and Donhyuck are using Johnny’s.

“What are you doing?” You look up and grin at him once you realise he’s back. Despite the way he folds his arms and pretends to be annoyed you see the way his eyes flicker back to you every time he tries to look away.

“Research,” Jungwoo doesn’t look away from the screen, even as Johnny tries to snatch his laptop away.

“Pointless research,” Donghyuck sighs out, head coming to flop on his shoulder. You smother a laugh at Johnny’s glare. “We’re not getting anywhere.”

“The door’s free for you to use at any time,” Johnny snipes before sitting down on his own bed, still staring Donghyuck down. Jungwoo peers over to see what Donghyuck’s doing.

“You’re not even helping! You’re texting Soyeon.”

“I am helping! Y/N told me to!”

The two boys bicker while you muse over Donghyuck and Soyeon. They would make a good match, you had seen that firsthand when you went on the date-

A thought hits you like a lightning bolt.

“Dongyhuck,” you ask, “do you have Hyejin’s number?”

“No,” he looks at you weirdly while holding his phone to his chest so Jungwoo can’t steal it off him. “Why?”

“I do,” Johnny pipes up. “When I covered for you on the date, she gave me her number.”

“Send her a text and tell her and Soyeon to get here as soon as possible,” you instruct him, “if we’re going to really clear my name, she needs to be in on this too.”

-

The next day, you get called into the office.

For some reason, you thought it would be a big deal, like having multiple campus staff march up to your door and escort you there yourself. Instead you get a text, email and letter through the door in the space of an hour all telling you that the art director, Mr Kim, has arranged to have a meeting with you. There’s no explanation as to why but you don’t need one. It’s clear that Youngmi has finally broken her silence.

The first thing you do is tell Johnny, jumping on his bed and trying to shake him awake. He groans, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest in an attempt to get you to be quiet but it doesn’t work. 

When you finally get him out of bed the two of you work quickly to get ready to go down there. Although the meeting was scheduled during a lecture Johnny insists on walking you and you agree mostly because you don’t know the way.

You expect to be nervous, afraid or even excited, and you are, but what surprises you the most is how eager you are to get this all over with. You know it’ll be hard and you’ll have to fight for your case, but with the work everyone has been doing it shouldn’t be too hard. You’re ready to stop hiding behind a facade.

“Are you sure you can’t come in with me?” You batter your lashes at Johnny once you arrive at the office building in an attempt to soften his resolve. It doesn’t work, and he laughs at your attempt.

“Aren’t you the one who wanted to ‘fight your battles on your own’? I’ll be right outside the whole time, so don’t worry.”

“I think we both know by now that that was a stupid way for me to think,” you grin at him. “I do expect you to have my back, Suh. Just so we’re clear.”

“Of course,” he returns the smile and quickly leans down to place a chaste kiss on your lips before deliberately ruffling up your hair. 

“Go get 'em,” he winks.

-

Mr Kim is a tall, lean man who has obviously spent too much time in his office. Not even his clean, freshly pressed suit can draw you away from the deep-set lines on his face and he leans back in his chair as if it’s an extension of himself.

“Am I to assume your name is Miss L/N?” He points to the photos on his desk, the very same ones Youngmi had sent to you.

“I’m Y/N, yep.” You reply nervously. “Whatever she’s said to you, it’s true.”

The colour drains from the elder’s face and he regards you warily, as if he had expected you to deny it. The silence drags on and with every second that passes you realise your actions are not going to be taken lightly.

“This is…” he stammers, “unheard of, Miss L/N. This goes into the realm of identity fraud, I hope you understand that!”

“I do,” you mutter.

“I mean, a scholarship,” he carries on, rubbing at his temple. You swallow the lump that is building in your throat and try to think of Johnny. If he were in here with you, or even in your position, he wouldn’t care. He just wouldn’t give a shit, and you need to mimic that if this is going to work.

“But sir,” you counter, forcing faux nonchalance into your voice, “can I ask who told you all this, who gave you the photos?”

“I cannot reveal that, Miss L/N.”

“It was Youngmi, wasn’t it?” You watch him pale. Clearly, he hadn’t expected you to know that. 

“Do you really,” you reach into your pocket and bring out a sealed envelope, leaning towards the desk and sliding it towards him, “think my scandal is as bad as hers?”

As he opens it up and reads through the evidence you have gathered, you watch as his face falls and try not to smile. It reminds you of when you’d opened Youngmi’s envelope for the first time, except now Mr Kim is on his own, with no backup in this room to help him out.

“I have witnesses, if you need them,” you continue although he’s still completely taken with the photos and newspaper clippings. “It also doesn’t stop there. She bullies people on your campus. One of your art students, acting in such a grossly out-of-line way. I don’t know which will stir the media up more, my scandal or hers, but what are you going to risk, Mr Kim?”

You lean forward as he recoils, delighted at your method of delivery. It seems to be doing the trick. 

“Who else knows about this?” He glances at you, eyebrow twitching.

“Oh, I’d say a dozen or so, maybe more,” you reply casually. “Johnny Suh, Lee 

Taeyong, Na Hyejin and Kwon Soyeon, to name a few.”

“Can you make a list?”

“Definitely. In fact, Johnny Suh is outside right now.”

“Bring him in.”

Mr Kim still isn’t looking at you, thumbing through the evidence and so you get up and open the door. Johnny meets your gaze anxiously and practically melts with relief when he sees the smile on your lips. Then, he strides past you and into the room. The way he does so reminds you of when you first met him, so wrapped up in his devil-may-care attitude.

“Mr Kim,” he greets enthusiastically, replacing you in the seat. “Not a great year for you, is it?”

He seems less than impressed. “Mr Suh,” he replies evenly.

“As you know, my father is set to send some funding the school’s way pretty soon,” Johnny sighs. “I would hate for him to find out about this. He too has a no-tolerance policy for bullying, so I guess he’d have no choice but to cut ties with you. I haven’t exactly enjoyed watching my roommate be physically assaulted and blackmailed as well, so that’s not going to help much.

"And if you think about it,” he concludes, “Y/N should have gotten in anyway. She has the talent, it was just your shitty system that made her miss out.”

Despite Johnny’s nonchalant tone, his words must ring true. Mr Kim’s expression is grim.

“I understand.” He eventually speaks. “You can both go, but don’t speak of this to anyone. I’ll call you back later and make a decision.”

You follow Johnny out of the office, not daring to speak until you’ve shut the door and you head down the corridor.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” you squeal, slumping against Johnny in relief.

“You did well,” he wraps an arm around you after cautiously checking around to see if anyone’s watching, although most students are in lectures or self-study. “That was probably Oscar-worthy. It’ll be fine.”

“What if it’s not though?” You debate. “There is a slim chance he’ll just get rid of both of us.”

Johnny’s eyes narrow. “I’ll make it fine,” he promises. “Now come on, let’s fill the others in on what’s happening.”

-

Over the next few days, all of your friends get called to the office. Doyoung shows you a text he gets midway through a lecture and an email pops up on Mark’s laptop while the two of you are studying in the library. Even Hyejin turns around during a lecture to let you know she’d been called in. 

Every one of them spends roughly half an hour in Mr Kim’s office with the PR team. From Donghyuck’s enthusiastic recollection, they have been asked to give their account of everything that’s happened.

Every time they go in you hang around, waiting for them anxiously.

And every time they come out they high five you and promise you that they’ve aced it.

“Apparently,” Mark comes to sit down next to you and Yoonoh on the grass one evening, “Soyeon told a few people about this and now word has got around about what’s going on. More people are coming forward with the stuff Youngmi’s done to them.”

“Wait, really?” You stare at him in disbelief and he nods vigorously.

“Yeah. It seems to be working.”

You grin at him happily.

Eventually, you are summoned back to Mr Kim’s office. This time you go alone in a bid to keep Johnny in his classes. No-one knew you were going except Taeyong as you had been summoned on such short notice, and he had promised to make sure Johnny would be waiting for you as soon as the lecture was finished.

“What I want to stress here, Y/N,” Mr Kim addresses you as soon as you sit down, “is that what you did was very wrong.”

You lower your head. “I know, sir, and I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you. It was never my intention.”

“Well, we’ve dealt with it,” he waves a hand dismissively. “Although your dedication is admired. But I must address the elephant in the room. Your actions cannot go unpunished.”

You hold your breath.

“But they are a lot easier to keep under wraps compared to Miss Youngmi. I am not at liberty to discuss the details but I can tell you that her family has been notified on what she was doing and she will be disciplined. On behalf of that young lady and from all of us here I would like to apologise for any mistreatment that has befallen you here. It should not have happened, regardless of who you were pretending to be.”

You exhale shakily, still in disbelief over what he’s saying.

“She has left the school both to protect the students here and to preserve her reputation. Whilst I understand the students will want to know where she has gone you must understand some of the information I have just told you is very sensitive,” he stares at you sternly, “so I trust you to keep this silent.”

“Of course,” you try to hide your smile by biting down on your seat. You want nothing more than to run out of the room and break the news to Johnny.

“Now, her departure leaves a free place in our female art scholarship programme. If you feel you can transition smoothly enough into that position in time for the next semester, I can offer it to you. But please remember you will need to be discreet. That is my condition.”

“Wait, seriously?” Your eyes are wide as you stare at Mr Kim, waiting for him to laugh and tell you it’s a joke. When he doesn’t, you let a smile overtake your face. “I’ll keep it quiet, I promise.”

“You’re free to go, then,” he points to the door and you don’t hesitate to get up, thanking him while backing out of the room.

Johnny’s not outside and as you hurry across campus you try to figure out what lecture he’s coming from.

The business building has students flooding out of it and you fight to get through the doors. While making your way through a hand is placed on your shoulder and you’re gently tugged out of the crowd. 

When you turn around Johnny is looking down at you anxiously.

“Did it go okay?”

Instead of replying, you reach up to grab him by the shirt and yank him down for a kiss.

He’s hesitant at first, probably due to the amount of students in the corridor (and a few do give some wolf-whistles) but soon his hands find your waist and he smiles against your lips, chasing them as you try to pull away.

“I take it everything went well?” He asks, taking in your joyous features. You can only nod, grabbing his hand and dragging him away from the growing crowd of students. With him by your side you find your way out easily and soon the sun is shining on the both of you.

“Where are we going?” He takes your hand in his and pulls you close. To a stranger, it would look like two boys were just walking close together.

“I told you that when all of this is over I’ll let you take me on fancy dates and stuff,” you grin up at him.

“We’ve already done that,” he rolls his eyes but his voice is teasing.

“You mean you’re not going to let me make it up to you for paying for me all those times and for taking care of me?”

“Well,” he looks down at you, “I guess I can make an exception.”

-


	12. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, bookmarking and leaving kudos. It means so much to me, and I hope this fic has made you happy in some way. I'll see you in the next fic!

_-_

Mornings have become your favourite time of the day.

Not because you’re an early bird, but because the light hits differently now you are out of the dorms. You’re not woken up by the morning glow because these windows are in a different position and similarly, nor do the sounds of students interrupt your sleeping.

It's almost perfect, but you can’t exactly complain about the limitations.

It’s too hot in bed due to Johnny. He hardly ever lets you go in his sleep, preferring to keep you close where he can play with your hair and press his nose to the nape of your neck.

Today is no different, the two of you haven’t moved during your sleep so you’re still tucked in next to him, blinking blearily as you come to your senses. You debate tracing patterns over his bare stomach but ultimately decide against it. You won’t be going back to sleep any time soon and just laying in bed will cause you to get restless.

So you untangle yourself from his embrace and sneak away into the bathroom, splashing cold water onto your face in a bid to wake up and brushing your teeth. When you’re done, you tackle your hair. It’s growing back, slowly but surely, though it will only just go into a ponytail (which Johnny has decided to tug on every now and then).

Your first order of business when you reach the kitchen is to start up the coffee machine you’d bought Johnny for his birthday and get a mug out. There’s hardly anything in the cupboards since you haven’t been shopping in a while but you manage to find the bread, sliding it into the toaster before going on a search for butter.

As you straighten up a pair of arms wrap themselves around you and you’re pulled against Johnny’s chest. He uses your shoulder as a headrest, his hair tickling your skin as he rests his weight on you, evidently still half-asleep.

There were two reasons why Johnny had wanted to rent an apartment with you. One, because the dorms wouldn’t allow the two of you to stay together now they knew you were a girl and two, because he is now able to walk around bare-chested all the time and sleep in the same bed as you.

When you’d first moved in you had tried to fight for separate beds, given you’d only been dating Johnny for a month at that time. But he wouldn’t hear it, and you can’t say you cared enough to fight him on it.

“Can we go back to sleep?” Johnny mumbles, face still resting on your shoulder. 

“I have lectures to get to and then I’m going out for lunch.” You gently remind him.

For a moment his arms tense, as if he’s getting ready to pick you up and haul you back to bed, so you press a quick kiss to his arm and slip out of his arms as soon as you feel his grip slacken.

“What’s the point?” He complains as you fish out the toast and find a knife, spreading the butter before reaching over and taking the food from you. “The year is almost over.”

You send him a knowing look and he gives up the fight with a sigh, returning your toast to you and sloping back into the bedroom.

“Call me when you need a lift,” is all he says before the door closes and you’re left alone, smiling into your half-eaten toast.

Though Johnny insists he doesn’t mind driving you in each day (it’d take too long to walk to campus) you’re eager to get yourself driving. You’ve saved up money to begin lessons as soon as you take a break from your studies, but your mother is strongly against it. Ever since you took Johnny to meet your parents ‘officially’- as your boyfriend -and he mentioned he ferries you everywhere, she’s been reluctant for you to learn yourself.

Nevertheless, there’s something oddly domestic about getting into the car with him each morning and driving through the city. He knows just how to beat rush hour and although you fight regularly for control of the radio, it’s nice to watch the buildings race by as the two of you chat about your days.

Upon arriving at campus Johnny walks you to your first class like always. Yoonoh meets him there, giving Johnny just enough time to press a quick kiss to your lips before he’s dragged away by Yoonoh, who slings an arm around his neck and steers him away from you and to their first lesson.

“You look cute today, Y/N,” Yoonoh winks at you in greeting and, although you’re used to his compliments by now, you can’t help but giggle as Johnny tries to elbow him.

After they leave you head inside and meet up with your other friends. Jungwoo and Yuta have saved you your usual seat next to them while you find Donghyuck deep in conversation with Soyeon. Hyejin, who is sitting next to Soyeon and reading through her notes, glances up and sends you a timid smile.

Seeing Hyejin makes you think back to when you had told her and Soyeon that you were a girl, in order to get them to help you with Youngmi. As soon as you had remembered that Soyeon and Hyejin’s friend had been bullied by Youngmi you had realised that they could help out, and so they had been let in on your secret.

Ever since then the friendship between the three of you had bloomed. It was nice to have female friends for a change (although Hyejin took a little while to warm up to you) and now you couldn’t imagine life without the two girls. Soyeon was great at helping you with assignments and getting Yuta to back off when he challenged you to beer pong, while Hyejin was more than willing to give you tips on how to cope with your newfound short hair and would always lend an ear when you needed to talk.

“You look happy,” Yuta grins as you sit down. “Are you that excited for lunch?”

You roll your eyes at him. “You’re not even coming out with us at lunch, how did you know that?”

“Donghyuck told me,” he jerks a finger at the younger boy who waves to you in greeting. You were going out with him, Mark and Taeil at lunch to catch up, but it hadn’t exactly been broadcasted everywhere.

“We’ll include you next time,” you grin at the boy.

“Yeah Yuta,” Jungwoo joins in, “stop being so _jealous_.”

That comment earns him a swift punch from Yuta.

Before any more fights break out the lecture starts and you’re too busy concentrating to mess about with your friends. It ends all too quickly and then you’re saying your goodbyes, heading down the hall with Jungwoo and Soyeon, both of who drop you off at your business lecture.

When you get into the auditorium you find Johnny immediately, sitting at the back and deep in conversation with Taeyong and Doyoung. You make your way up to them and only as you get close does Johnny catch sight of you. He looks you up and down as if seeing you for the first time and mirrors your smile. You would never have guessed at first that Johnny Suh was clingy, but months of being his girlfriend had quickly changed your opinion.

You head towards your seat, swatting away Johnny’s hands as he tries to get you to sit with him. Doyoung sighs as if he’s watching two children argue, before pulling you into a spare seat next to Taeyong and leaning over to flick Johnny’s forehead.

“How was social scieces?” Taeyong smiles at you.

“Same as usual,” you hum, beginning to unpack. “Nothing special.”

“That sucks,” he pouts before carrying on. “I was just thinking about this earlier: don’t you find it weird that no-one really cared when ‘Daehyun’ mysteriously disappeared?”

“A bit,“ you shrug, "but it was all kept quiet and I wasn’t really well-known anyway.”

“That makes sense,” he nods, satisfied, before down at your notes. You scoff at him affectionately before sliding them across so you can share.

-

After the lecture, you and the others meet Yoonoh in the library ready to study for your exams. You and Doyoung are determined to get a headstart, Taeyong wanted to join because he was worried he would fail and you had roped Johnny and Yoonoh into coming under the guise of 'bonding time’.

“Johnny,” you glare at him as he tries to take your pen for the fourth time, his textbook abandoned in front of him. “Have you actually revised _anything_?”

“It’s not like I need the grades,” he smirks, evidently pleased at your reaction. “I could always flunk it.”

You glare at him. “If you do that, I’m moving out.”

Yoonoh clasps a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles before nudging Johnny.

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s still space at Yuta and Jungwoo’s dorm.”

Johnny doesn’t respond, sending you both dark looks as he grumpily flips over the page in his textbook.

With Johnny subdued, the rest of you manage to get actual studying done. Doyoung gives you and Yoonoh a mini tutoring session whilst everyone’s notes are shared out. Just as you’re beginning to get bored yourself, someone calls out your name.

It’s Taeil, striding through the library and holding up his phone which has the time on the screen. You squint at it for a few moments before realising that it’s lunchtime and he’s here to pick you up.

“Ready to go?” The eldest boy smiles down at you while you gather up your things. 

“Just about,” you gather up your things and pick up your bag, deliberately ignoring Johnny’s hands and laughing at the disappointed expression on his face. If he’s happy to annoy you then you are happy to annoy him right back.

Bidding the others goodbye, you blow your boyfriend a kiss before leaving the library with Taeil.

“You two are so cute,” he muses as you walk down the corridors to the car park. You throw him a look.

“Are we?”

“Yeah,” Taeil laughs. “You mean you don’t see it?”

“I see that he’s a pain in the ass, yeah.”

"But you love him?”

“Yeah, I love him.”

Mark and Donghyuck are waiting for you when you arrive at Taeil’s car.

“ _Finally_ ,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes while Mark gives you a wave. “You can have shotgun but I want the music.”

"Stop being so petty,” you stick your tongue out at him but slide into the front seat. Soon Taeil’s on the road and you’re battling against Donghyuck over the volume of the music. Every time you turn in down using the knob, he turns it up on his phone.

“You don’t even have good music!” You yell at him in frustration. He shrugs, mouthing along to the lyrics just to spite you.

“Drive faster,” you grumble to Taeil.

“I'm _trying_.”

To keep things fair, Mark is asked to choose where you’ll all eat. But, in typical Donghyuck fashion, he managed to manipulate Mark into choosing his favourite fast food place. You have to hide your giggle as you see Taeil stare down at his greasy burger in disgust but soon the four of you are eating happily.

“So,” you turn to look at Mark, who’s sat across from you. “Heard you’re dancing with Ten Lee? Isn’t that a big deal?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Mark grins sheepishly, bringing a hand to his neck. “We’re choreographing something together next week. Hopefully it’ll put me on the map.”

“You have to let me see it,” you point your milkshake at him sternly before taking a sip. “You’re dancing is on another level.”

Mark giggles nervously while his ears redden, obviously embarrassed by the compliment. Donghyuck notices and jumps to his friend’s defence.

“So Y/N,” he drawls, and you narrow your eyes at him. “How’s life off-campus?”

“It’s good,“ you begin warily. "It’s normal.”

Donghyuck grins. “Is that because you’re rooming with your _boyfriend_?”

Taeil groans. “They’ve literally been dating for ages, Donghyuck. You can’t use that card!”

Donghyuck shrugs and you send him a withering look.

“ _Obviously_ it’s better with my boyfriend. And, speaking of, you should really hurry up and ask Soyeon out. How long has it been now?”

Donghyuck turns slightly red while Mark giggles at him.

-

When you get back after lunch, you head straight to the art room. It’s a surprise to see Johnny there, leaning against the door as he waits.

“Are you seriously ditching your lecture?” You ask, opening the door as he grins down at you, following you inside. The art room is warm and smells of paint so you head straight to the windows and open them wide. Johnny heads to the back where the portfolios are kept and hunts around for yours.

“You didn’t kiss me goodbye,” he sighs dramatically as he flips through your work as if he hasn’t seen it thousands of times before.

“You’re so cheesy,” you complain, although when he draws near you lean in and give him what he wants, letting him settle his hands on your waist and standing on your tiptoes so you can meet his lips with your own.

“That’s enough,” you pull away as he tries to deepen the kiss and poke his forehead when he frowns, annoyed. “We’re not making out in the art room.”

“We can go somewhere else, then?”

“ _Stop_ _it_. You know I’ve got stuff to do.”

“ _Fine_.” He relents although there’s a teasing smile on his lips. He releases his hold on you and lifts his hands up as if he’s being arrested. “How’s the painting coming?”

“It’s good. Technical, but it’ll look good when it’s done.”

“So can I see it?”

“ _No_ ,” you glare at him playfully. “You’re not seeing it until I’m finished. Maybe then you won’t say it looks like a decapitated fish.”

“Hey, that was one time!” He protests, trying to reach for you while you dart away and go to grab your brushes. “I trust the process now, I swear.”

“Sure,” you sing-song.

“I mean it!”

“I know you do,” you relent with a smirk, and he relaxes knowing you’re not seriously offended. Then he helps you gather your materials, only backing away once you head over to continue painting.

“So how was lunch?”

“Lunch was good,” you hum, mixing the paints. “Was yours okay?”

“Would’ve been better with you.” You snort at that and send him a look. He grins, satisfied at your response.

Eventually, your teasing conversation turns into silence as you become invested in your work and Johnny pulls out his phone. You spend most of your days like this; Johnny’s content to just sit with you while you work and when he finally gets bored you call it a day and pack up.

“Is it finished?” He replies, after only half an hour.

“These things take _time_ , babe.” You chastise gently. “Of course not.”

He goes silent after that but you know that’s his sign to show you he’s bored, so you begin to pack up your things while he finishes up on his phone.

“You done now?”

“Yeah,” you reply. “We going home?”

“If you’re fine with that. We should start getting ready for tonight.”

You groan as you remember your plans. “Why did I let Yuta rope us into another night out?”

“Because you love them,” Johnny grins and slings an arm around you once you finish up, heading out of the art room with you tucked into his side.

“What about you then? You could’ve said something.”

“Why would I?” He laughs. “I love seeing you in those dresses.”

“ _Johnny_!”

-

Once you arrive back at the apartment the two of you get to stop for a while. Johnny is busy on his laptop so you cook something for dinner and he joins you in front of the television as you eat. Once you’re done and the late afternoon transforms into the evening the two of you head to the bedroom.

“So,” Johnny peers at your wardrobe like it’s full of exquisite treasures, “are we going to match tonight?”

It had become a common occurrence for the two of you to match in some way every time you go out for the night. It had originally been Johnny’s idea so that people knew the two of you were together, whether it’s you wearing a necklace and him a ring or having a matching colour present in both your outfits.

“I don’t mind,” you shrug, rummaging through your wardrobe to try and find something suitable to wear. You’ve banned Johnny from gifting you anything that isn’t for Christmas, your birthday or anniversary, given his expensive taste, but thanks to a few commissions you had completed you’d been able to splash out on your wardrobe.

Johnny moves closer to you, resting his head on top of yours as he helps you look and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“What do you think for tonight?” You ask.

“Well,” he hums, “you look good in anything. But red,” his voice drops as he murmurs in your ear. “Red would look _very_ nice.”

Your eyes land on a dress made of dark red satin, short but classy, and you hum in agreement.

“Red it is.” You take it from the hanger and begin to get changed while Johnny looks around for his outfit. 

“Did you manage to get some work done earlier?”

“I got some done, yeah,” he sighs, “my dad keeps nagging me about an internship at his company so I learn the basics, but I’ve found two potential buildings that I can convert. They’re within my price range too, I just need to put in the work.”

“You can do it,” you turn to smile at him, scoffing when you find he’s watching you from the bed, clothes forgotten as he sprawls out with his hands behind his head. “The paintings are waiting for you. But can you please _get ready_.”

It takes a while for you to finally get ready, spending far too long on your hair and makeup while Johnny peruses his closet to find something red. But eventually, the taxi pulls up outside and you both pile in. Ever since the two of you had moved in together Johnny has stopped using his family’s chauffeur. He’s never told you the reason but you suspect it has something to do with him wanting to seem more independent.

The club is familiar to you and a favourite of Yuta’s, who had picked the venue on this occasion. You’re dropped off right outside and as soon as you exit the taxi, Johnny’s hand finds your lower back and guides you inside.

Like always, you’re the last ones there. Soyeon spots you first from where she’s trapped Donghyuck on the dancefloor and she swoops in to greet you with a hug.

“Nice to see you,” she grins.

“You too,” you reply before your gaze drifts to meet Donghyuck’s. He looks at the bar and then back at you with a challenge in his eyes.

“Hey,” before you can escape Johnny tugs at your hand and turns you to face him. “You’re not going to say hello to everyone? Just don’t overdo it. Be safe, okay? I’m going to the booth.”

“Just tell them I’m getting a drink, and of course I’ll be safe,” you press a quick kiss to his lips and smile at the concern in his eyes. “Someone has to babysit Donghyuck.”

“ _Hey!_ ”

“See you later, gorgeous.” Johnny smirks and kisses your forehead before letting you go.

You don’t get very far as a very drunk Jungwoo ambushes you on the way to the bar, yelling out your names enthusiastically. Taeyong isn’t far behind him and the panic in his eyes tells you Jungwoo is already too far gone.

Glancing at Donghyuck, the two of you sigh before plastering on fake smiles and greeting Jungwoo eagerly, letting him give you both bear hugs and mouthing at Taeyong to _hurry up_.

-

You could laugh at the irony.

Johnny stumbles into your side and it takes everything in you to remain upright while supporting him. He can’t walk in a straight line and you can barely get the key into the door without him waving his hands in the air like he’s still dancing.

“Can we go and watch Netflix or something?” he slurs, hanging off your shoulders and poking at your face, laughing as he prods at your cheeks. “We’re not sleeping, right?”

You mutter some curse words darkly, regretting ever letting him go anywhere near Yoonoh and Yuta.

When it becomes evident Johnny will never make it to the bathroom you have no choice but to deposit him on the bed. There’s a stupid smile on his face as his unfocused eyes stare off into the distance.

Clearly, he’s in no shape to get himself ready for bed, so you grab the hem of his shirt and start lifting up.

“Hey, hey, _hey_ ,” he drawls, trying to grasp your hands, “you can’t do that! I have a _girlfriend_. I’m _taken_. She won’t be happy if you do this.”

“I know,” you reply.

“She’ll beat you up,” he giggles, leaning backwards while you scramble to stop him falling back onto the bed. Once you’re sure he’s stable, you tap his arm and he lifts them obediently despite his earlier protests, allowing you to remove his shirt. “She threatened to kick me in the dick once.”

“Did she?” Despite your exhaustion, you can’t help but smile at his proud tone. You disappear briefly to get a wet towel from the bathroom but once you get back, you decide to ask him a few questions. It’s rare Johnny ever gets this drunk and you don’t want to let the opportunity pass you by.

“So,” you dab gently at his face, “how cute is your girlfriend?”

“Really cute,” he replies seriously, as if he’s in a business meeting.

“When did you first begin to like her?”

“After we fought for the first time,” he pouts and for a moment you think he’s going to burst into tears. “I hated that she got so mad at me.”

“I see,” you hum, smiling, “and what about her hair? Do you prefer it short or long?”

“Don’t care,” he shrugs, sadness seemingly forgotten. “I just like her.”

You bite your lip, unable to help yourself as you gently run your hands through his hair affectionately.

“I like you more when you’re drunk,” you muse quietly, “you’re more honest. Now go and change into something to sleep in, I need to go and finish up some stuff.”

“Where are you _going_?” He wines sadly as you move away, hanging off your arm.

“Your father emailed me about the upcoming gala. He wants me to donate some pieces, remember?”

“Don’t give them to him,” he mumbles, “just put them in the bathroom with the ugly shark.”

You glower at him. “That shark is _not_ ugly! You said it was a work of art!”

“Whoops.” He giggles as if he’s just told a funny joke. You ignore him in favour of taking off your earrings and necklace, heading into the bathroom to remove your makeup.

When you come out, Johnny’s changed into some sweatpants and is staring at the ceiling, mumbling to himself. You creep around him, rummaging through his wardrobe and changing into one of his shirts. After making sure he’ll be okay on his own you exit the bedroom, making your way to your laptop.

On the way there your phone buzzes. It’s Mark, asking if you’ve gotten home okay. Though it would be easier to just text him you can’t help but snap a picture of Johnny lying shirtless on your bed, along with a thumbs-up emoji.

Though you’re tired you begin to tackle the email. You’re sober enough to respond professionally (looking after Johnny has made sure of that) but soon after starting you begin to get itchy, glancing towards the bedroom every so often and resisting the urge to check up on Johnny.

Luckily, you finish up and send the email just as the urge to sleep gets too strong to resist. You creep back into the bedroom where Johnny hasn’t moved from his original spot. He’s fallen asleep and you berate yourself for not tucking him into bed properly.

After finishing up in the bathroom and plugging your phone in to charge you dart back into the kitchen, grabbing some painkillers and a glass of water for Johnny in the morning. Once everything is in place you approach his sleeping figure tentatively.

“Johnny,” you whisper, “can you get into bed?”

He mumbles something that sounds like a yes, so gently lift up the covers and he slides under with little effort. Finally, you slip into bed beside him, turning out the light before rolling over to face him.

He finds you immediately, arms coming to wrap around you and pull you close to his body. He sighs in content and you allow yourself to relax against him, finally letting your head hit the pillow.

“I love you,” he mumbles softly. “I _knew_ you were Y/N as soon as you started taking my shirt off.”

“That’s nice,” you whisper, closing your eyes and making yourself comfy.

He squeezes you tighter. “Say it back.”

“I love you too.”

-


End file.
